Everthing Matters to Someone: Dealing with the Difficult to Understand or Accept

I rarely take the stance that "it doesn't really matter" as an exclusive answer, especially when I'm talking with someone else. What matters to any individual is what matters to that individual, and I believe the only way to get past that and find a constructive solution is take one of the following paths - or another one like these:

1) ___________ matters, but not as much as ____________.

This allows someone to put worth in something that is troubling, which I believe is healthy, because struggle does have worth, but it allows that person to prioritize - which necessitates a recognition that some things of worth just aren't worth enough to allow them to over-shadow other things of more worth.
For example, discussions about whether or not the Word of Wisdom constitutes divine revelation and about how it is used as a temple attendance requirement right now might not matter to someone as much as supporting those who are prone to addiction, participating in a unique social marker of one's community, expressing solidarity with one's ancestors and/or participating actively in temple weddings. Another example might be boredom at church vs. damage to a marriage by refusing to attend church with a spouse - which might be able to be "solved" by bringing a book to read when boredom hits. The admission that there might be something that is more important is what allows solutions to be discovered in many cases.

2) ___________ matters, so I will search for a way to view and/or understand it differently.

For example, the idea that the Church is "true" in some way might matter, but defining "true" as meaning it is perfect and inerrant might not be acceptable - so searching for an alternative understanding might lead to the idea that the Church being "true" means it points us to a unique, noble, good and otherwise untaught destination (in this case, truly becoming godly).

This allows someone to recognize that there always are multiple legitimate ways to view something, to take personal ownership of one's beliefs and paradigms, and to provide enough wiggle room to hold on to the possibility that their initial reaction isn't 100% comprehensive and Truth. Much of what I have constructed over the course of my life in the way of a "worldview" and a "theology" has come about because of my willingness to consider lots and lots of possible perspectives until I find one that resonates with my own soul - and that willingness, I believe, is the heart of why I am as happy and joyous and at peace as I am, both within and without the LDS Church.

3) This is closely related to #1: ____________ matters to me, but it doesn't matter to _____________ - and that's OK.

For example, polygamy as an historical practice might bother someone a great deal, but it might not bother anyone else in that person's family, congregation or close circle of friends. Therefore, if a person has decided to continue attending church and/or being a valuable part of family, congregation or circle of friends, letting go of the need to try to make it matter to others by recognizing that it's OK if it doesn't matter to them can remove a huge burden from one's shoulders in a way that no amount of effort to make it important to others can provide.

There are other mechanisms, but these are the ones that are the most common and effective in my own experiences, both for myself and for those with whom I have spoken over the decades.