After What Do I Hunger and Thirst - and Why?

I view the purpose of this life as becoming like Jesus was in His mortal life - and the purpose of the next life as becoming like Christ is now in His post-mortal life. Everything else (specific doctrine, intellectual understanding, nuanced discussions of exegesis, whatever) is secondary to that.

The core Josephism to which I cling is: "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." "Principles" is not equivalent to "doctrines" or "intellectual understandings". That's important to me.

When it comes down to it, I base my core principles on three main statements of Jesus:

"Be ye therefore perfect," (Matt. 5:48) - "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." (Matt. 7:20) - "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." (Matt. 7:21) -- (basically, the entire Sermon on the Mount, but especially those three verses)

When push comes to shove, I don't give a rat's hairy hindquarters exactly what someone says they believe - only what they do and what they are becoming. If they teach Buddhism or if they claim atheism - whatever their background - I don't care one bit. I really don't, as long as they are trying to do the will of the Father (the God in which they believe or their conscience) and become perfected (whole and complete) - and not doing so in a highly destructive way or exercising serious unrighteous dominion and compulsion.

Why do I share that in this context? I believe in the Restored Gospel deeply and passionately, and I enjoy the intellectual stimulation I find on various blogs. However, my intellectual efforts do not define my discipleship. That is defined by my realization that no matter how my brain constructs my doctrinal understanding, it's much more important what I do than what I say - what I am becoming than how convincing my arguments are. My understanding might be different than another's, but if we both are working to become the same thing (complete and whole and "right"eous), our journey can be one of mutual respect and camaraderie and joy.

I engage in internet conversations specifically to find ways to hone my discipleship - to plumb the depths of others' understanding to find new ways to bring me closer to my Father. That's what I long for in the discussions in which I engage - a place of refuge and rest, where I can drink deeply from the cup of perspective and insight - no matter the theological or denominational affiliation of those with whom I converse. I don't want to fight and argue over minute points of doctrinal interpretation, although I will challenge statements that I think are hyperbolic and mean-spirited. I want to share and sup. That is the sustenance for which I hunger and thirst - the soothing sips of insight that restore and reaffirm my resolve for righteousness. I don't hunger and thirst after insight for itself; I hunger and thirst after insight that leads me to greater *righteousness* - to be filled with the Holy Ghost - to do the will of my Father - to bring forth fruits meet for repentance - to become therefore perfected (whole and complete).

Everything else is meaningless if it isn't involved in getting there and helping others get there.

A Story that Broke My Heart - and Why

The second link to a thought-provoking article I posted here on my blog (way back in September 2007) was one that hit me really hard when I first read it.  It is about life in Africa and the practical application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I decided to re-post it now, since I wasn't able to work on my New Year's Resolution post this week.  I am providing the link and then my own commentary on what hit me so hard when I first read it. 

Little Street Vendor - Wilfried Decoo

I do not mean to call the teacher a Pharisee. I am much less bothered by the “buying something on Sunday” aspect as I was by this thought:

“We shouldn’t chase that vendor away, but if you don’t buy from her, SHE WON’T COME BACK.”

Those last four words are what broke my heart.

Not buying from her is one thing; not putting our arms around her and not talking with her and not thinking that perhaps God inspired a choice daughter to take up a post at our church and not inviting her into our fellowship but, instead, truly chasing her away - that breaks my heart. I want her there - where she is relatively safe, where she at least can hear that she is a child of God, where she can rest with faith that families with children of their own (relatively well-dressed, clean, happy children) will understand her plight the best they can and have pity on her, etc. Taking that away from her - that breaks my heart. She’s not an object lesson for Sabbath Day observance; she’s a daughter of God and my spiritual sister - and using her as the first instead of treating her as the second broke my heart.

I understand the overwhelming nature of poverty in Africa and the hesitancy to do anything that might encourage hundreds of poor vendors to flock to the Church, but I have a feeling that the astute businesswoman in that little girl would have recognized the benefit of keeping her spot hidden from competition. I wonder if anyone sat down with her and just talked with her about her life, about the Gospel, about the Restoration, about her divine nature as a daughter of God. Whether or not anyone gave her money or bought something from her, did anyone take the time just to love her and listen to her. Wonder of wonders, she can read!  I wonder if anyone even thought to give her a Book of Mormon or something else to engage her mind. 

“Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these . . .” couldn’t find a more perfect application than this little street vendor - and would we really want to ignore Him, so He won't come back? .

Most Christians Would Reject Jesus as Christ if He Lived Now

Personally, I think we are missing the years before Jesus' ministry in the Bible to keep us from using them to deny his divinity. I think, generally, the divorce of his mortality from his divinity has done more to attack how Jesus really was (divine AND mortal) than perhaps anything else, and since Christianity generally already has denied his mortality in all practical ways, a record of his early years would complete the process by being used to deny his divinity.

I believe if we saw his entire life, most people would see him as just another guy - exactly as the people did in his own country who saw him growing up and couldn't accept him as the Messiah. I believe the only "perfect" (whole, complete, fully developed) picture of him includes a God as actual man, but admitting the "man" would destroy the conception of "God" held throughout "mainstream" Christianity.

People nit-pick prophets.  Can you imagine how we would nit-pick someone who claimed to be the Savior and Redeemer of mankind if we were able to see his childhood, adolescence and all other pre-ministry aspects of his life? I firmly believe most Christians would reject Jesus if he lived now the life I believe he lived then, since their conception of the Savior and Redeemer of the world doesn't match the man I believe he was - and, to be fair, I think that's true of more than a few LDS members, as well, in some ways. 

Mormonism & Learning to Love Those Who Disagree with Us

A good online friend (MikeinWeHo) once asked the following question in a thread about agency:

“Is it some core aspect of human nature that we really only want to tolerate people who agree with us?” (Comment #101)

My response was:

------------------
Unfortunately, yes, Mike. If it were not so, the Sermon on the Mount wouldn’t be much of a challenge. It is so easy to perceive disagreement as attack, and it is so hard not to attack when an attack is perceived.
I agree with the idea that we really want to believe in agency, but that we also are scared to death of the ramifications of agency. That’s why we need a vibrant Savior who promises to make up the difference between who we are and who we want to be – but also kicks us in the butt and demands obedience to commands.

Mormonism (at least what I view as pure Mormonism) embraces paradox and the need for opposition in ALL things more than any other -ism I know – and I’ve gained peace personally about a lot of things only by embracing that need and trying very hard not to condemn or belittle those who provide it for me. I fail miserably at that sometimes, but I’m trying to honor the way others choose to exercise their freedom / agency even when I disagree with them – and even when my disagreement with them might affect their ability to practice what they believe or restrict others from practicing what those others believe.

Sometimes we forget that we can disagree strongly with someone else and still love them – mostly because we often feel unloved and rejected when someone else disagrees with us. Yes, it is natural to tolerate only those on our side – and even to create sides when none need exist in order to feed that natural tendency. 

The Power of Jesus as Brother

I think perhaps the greatest abomination of the apostasy was the distortion of the duality of Jesus' nature - the denial that He was fully God but also fully human. "This is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent," (John 17:3) goes way beyond knowing about Him, but it also does include knowing about Him.

My wife's favorite part of the Book of Mormon is 2 Nephi 4, specifically because it gives us a glimpse into the self-critical nature of a prophet that we rarely see. It makes Nephi more than a caricature; it makes him fully human. One of the things that makes Isaiah's description of the future Lord so compelling is that it shows His trials and pains and suffering; it makes Him more fully human. "Knowing" Jesus in this sense - allowing Him to be fully human in ALL ways except the actual commission of sin - opens up the possibility of such a deeper, more personal connection than knowing Him "only as God" ever can.

That's perhaps the biggest irony of the Restoration - that it emphasizes the way to have the deepest, most personal relationship with Jesus imaginable (ironically, outside of actual marriage) - that of "brother". Ideally, we know our siblings' faults and weaknesses but love them anyway. By removing all weaknesses and natural tendencies and temptations and spiritual growth, we literally create a chasm we can't cross - a creature we can't approximate - a Savior we can't truly know. Other religions preach the need for a personal relationship with deity, but they erase the principles that allow such a relationship actually to exist. There really is a chasm between their God and them, but it's a chasm of their own digging.

Those Whose Mortal Struggles Overwhelm Them

I know someone who has some intense struggles.

He lived with friends for a while after he could no longer live at home, and, during that time, he had a couple of incredibly strong spiritual experiences - after first deciding to listen to the missionaries because both sister missionaries were "absolute babes". (What can I say; he was 18.)       He is highly intelligent, and he "got it" very quickly.  He and I had some long talks, and he really did have some awesome experiences and insights.   He was baptized while living with his friends, then left for college a few months later.

He had some negative experiences in his new ward that don't need to be detailed here.  As a result of those experiences and the subsequent lack of the type of support system he had when he joined the Church, he began to return to the life he had lived prior to coming to that.  His dysfunctional adolescence caused some very deep habits and inclinations, and, left on his own, they resurfaced.  I have prayed for him and hoped for him, but I have seen his actions take him away from activity in the Church.

He returned home once for the summer, and his father mocked his inactivity by saying something like, "I guess that Mormon thing isn't working out for you."  His response gave me hope in the midst of my concern. He said to his father, "I'm not living the way I should be living, but the Mormon Church is still the truest thing I've ever heard. I just have to get myself together before I can live it."

 

I hang onto faith that "when he is old, he will not depart from it". I KNOW his experiences and insights were real; he knows they were real. I have to trust that God's mercy truly will save him from the results of Adam's transgression in his life - and I see the issues that are keeping him from full activity directly as a result of what he inherited from his parents and what he had to "become" to cope without killing himself - and the experiences he had in a non-supportive environment when he first was on his own.

I believe the Atonement is MUCH more powerful than we often realize. Surely, God understands those whose struggles overwhelm them, and we someday will "stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers (them); confused at the grace that so fully he proffers (them)."

Honoring the Cross as Mormons

I read a wonderful post yesterday at By Common Consent by one of my favorite writers, Russell Arben Fox. It is entitled “Friday Reflections on Mormonism and the Cross” - and I recommend the entire post.

The following is not my typical Saturday resolutions post, but since my New Year's resolution for the past three years has been focused on various aspects of becoming more Christ-like, and since this is Easter weekend, I want to copy here my response on BCC to Russell's post - then add a bit more about Easter:

When I talk about the Atonement, I also reference the Sermon on the Mount – and I emphasize the command to be perfect. The wording in verse 48 says, “Be ye therefore perfect.” In the overall context of Chapter 5, I agree that this conclusion means that we become “perfect” by becoming the type of “blessed” person described in the previous verses. Finally, our footnotes for verse 48 define being perfect as being “complete, whole, fully developed” – and I re-word that as “finished”.

It only was at the end of his time on the cross that Jesus declared, “It is finished” – just before he “gave up the ghost”. Iow, it only was after the cross that the Atonement was complete – that Jesus fulfilled his own command to “be ye therefore perfect.”

I honor Gethsemane, but when we ignore Golgotha we worship an incomplete, paritally developed, imperfect Savior and Redeemer.

There have been any number of pronouncements in the history of this world that carried special significance for those beyond the people to whom they were addressed. Among them, within just our Christian heritage, are the following:

"Multiply and replenish the earth."

"Moses, my son."

"For unto us a child is born."

"Thou art blessed among women."

"This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear him."

"It is finished."

All of these have grave import, but the greatest pronouncement in the history of the world might be simply:

"He is not here, for he is risen."

I simply add my voice here and state, with my own conviction, that, in a very real and powerful and important way:

He can be here, for he is risen.

A Testimony for My Birthday

My birthday is this week, and I want to share something I wrote early a while ago in response to an evangelical gentleman with whom I was discussing religion and God. The following was part of my testimony (my witness) to him:

"If I tell you I have done and am doing exactly what you ask of me, can you accept that I am not just sincere, but that I might be "correct" - even if you personally don’t think it could be true of you within my own denomination? Your words seem to indicate that you could accept that, but I’m not quite sure.

For background purposes only, I have gone through what you describe. I have read the Bible countless times; I study it regularly; my “favorite” reading text is not the Book of Mormon, but the New Testament; I have attended Master’s and Doctorate level Comparative Religion classes; I pray regularly and try to have a prayer in my heart always; I have had spiritual experiences that simply are undeniable - not touchy-feely emotionalism, but real communion with the Spirit of God; I have see the hand of God in very real and undeniable ways - again, not emotion-based, but actually tangible evidences of His majesty and might; I have participated in the truly miraculous, through no merit of my own; I could go on and on and on, but the central point is that I have experienced and continue to experience God in my life as a follower of Christ who is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I choose to be a member of that church because it matches what I have come to believe about the nature of God and Jesus, the Christ, and salvation and grace and fruit and the atonement and spirituality and revelation and so much more. All of that “understanding”, however, is not what makes me Christian; rather, what makes me Christian is my poor attempt to model my life after the admonitions and counsel and command and encouragement of my Lord and Redeemer - my attempt to accept the Good News of the Gospel - to have faith enough to believe and follow what He asks of me - to strive to repent and turn my life to Him, so that my spirit can be regenerated by His Spirit and I can do His works (pure fruit of the vine) rather than mine - to allow Him to make of me what He desires me to be. My denomination does not make me a Christian, but it does help me reach for Him and try to place my life in His hands - to accept His invitation to “Come, follow me” - to cast my burdens at His feet and take His yoke upon me - etc."

Most importantly, it helps me understand my relationship to my Father in Heaven, and I am eternally grateful for that understanding.

The Word of God in Modern Times

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice (SINGULAR) of my servants (PLURAL), it is the same." (D&C 1:38)

This verse says "it is the same" when the servants speak collectively (plurality of individuals) as a united body (singularity of message) - not when any one or two or six speak as individuals. That's worth considering.

Faith, Doubt and Enduring Uncertainty

I believe uncertainty is what empowered every major change in human history that dealt with revolution of some sort - both good and bad. “I'm not sure about . . .” is the starting point for all kinds of ennobling and enabling movements. The only problem, in my opinion, is when “I'm not sure if . . . ” leads to “I doubt that . . . therefore, I can’t . . . until I no longer doubt.”

1) “Faith” is not “knowledge”. It is the substance of things “hoped for” - the evidence of things “not seen”. Faith is based on “hope” - a desire for something that cannot be seen or understood fully. “Certainty” is the end of faith - the desired outcome. It is to be sure of something to such a degree that it is expressed most often in terms of knowledge. “I know this” and “I am certain of this” are seen generally as saying the same thing.

2) On the other hand, “doubt” is not a lack of certainty. It is not a passive lack of belief or faith, but rather an active disbelief. It is expressed as a negative. It is NOT expressed as, “I am not certain of that,” but rather as, “I doubt that is true” - meaning, “I don’t think that is true,” or “I don’t believe that is true.”

3) Faith exists NOT in conjunction with doubt, but rather it functions side-by-side with “uncertainty”. One exercises faith when one is uncertain; one does NOT exercise faith when one doubts. When one doubts s/he actively disbelieves - thus, the one who said he would not believe until he personally had seen and touched was called “Doubting Thomas”. He didn’t say, “I’m not sure.” He said, instead, “I will not believe unless . . .” He could not exercise faith, not because he was uncertain, but rather because he actively doubted.

I get more than a little bit frustrated by the insistence that everyone can know everything, but I have no issue with the idea that faith and doubt cannot co-exist. Faith is the active expression of an internal orientation toward belief; doubt is the active expression of an internal orientation toward disbelief. Therefore, based on a strict parsing of the technical meaning, they can’t co-exist - since they are opposites. However, because we tend to conflate and confuse doubt and uncertainty, I do have an issue with the idea that faith and doubt cannot co-exist IF what the people who say that really mean is that faith and uncertainty cannot co-exist - that if I am uncertain of something, then I lack faith. That is a fundamental misunderstanding of faith.

I would posit that we all must, by definition, exercise faith until we are certain - and then hold onto that previous faith again if we lose certainty. Since none of us can be certain about everything imaginable, every one of us needs faith in something all our lives. If we are certain of everything, I believe we either are ignorant or delusional. What we cannot do, however, is cultivate a doubting spirit. If we never reach an acceptable level of certainty, then we need to accept a life of searching - following whatever principles and people and politics and religion we feel provide us with the highest degree of certainty we can obtain. What we have to avoid is becoming our own version of Doubting Thomas.

Finally, we are told that Jesus experienced everything we possibly can experience - including the crushing weight of being judged to be guilty. That must include doubt (or something similar enough to qualify) if it is to be comprehensive. Generally, we do not associate "doubt" with the Savior and Redeemer of the world (God, the Son) - but, again, doubt means not wanting to believe or accept something. However, there were at least two times when I think it is safe to say that He struggled mightily - because He didn’t understand and didn't want to accept something. (In the Garden, where He asked if the cup could be taken from Him and on the cross when he cried out and asked why His Father had forsaken Him.) In these cases, he seems to have been uncertain about some aspect of the Atonement and, possibly, even doubted temporarily: specifically, if He would be able to do it and then why He had to do it alone at the very end. I hesitate to call those "doubts" - but it might be a fair assessment. I prefer to call it "enduring uncertainty".

He Will Make Our Weak Things Strong - and Our Strong Things Stronger

This post will be much shorter than my normal weekend posts - much more like one of the shorter weekday posts. What hit me this week is very simple - and similar to something I posted near the beginning of my New Year's Resolution focus.

I have done SO much better this week as I have dealt with our little twinkie and her siblings. This month's resolution has been on my mind all week (really all month), and it is making a difference. It hit me again how much the Lord can, wants to and will help us when we focus on becoming like Him - that the simple act of focusing our will and our very thoughts on what He has asked of us opens a link to power and perspective that doesn't come in any other way.

I knew that prior to this week; I have felt it many times in my life in many ways; it is sweet, however, to rediscover things that have been discovered previously - to have reinforced what has been strengthened in other ways in the past. What struck me this week particularly is that He will help us not ONLY with our weak things but also with our strengths. That is a cool thing to know.

He really does see and understand our hearts, and He really does stand with arms outstretched still. All we need to do is place our faith and hope and trust in Him and what He was commanded.

My Testimony of the Prince of Peace

The Bible and Book of Mormon give the way to know the truth of all things - through the gift of the Comforter (the Holy Ghost - the 3rd member of the Godhead - He who was given to us in the Savior’s absence to be our link to Him and His Father). He will reveal the truth of all things to us and give us comfort and peace in this life until we are able to return to the presence of the Lord, fall at His feet and praise Him for His tender mercy that allows us to come nigh unto the throne of God. I rely on Him as I read and ponder and pray, since that is what my Lord and Savior graciously commanded me to do - and since that is the way that He has promised me peace.

I have been asked why I believe what I believe. It is because I have studied just about every religious teaching available and what I have come to accept is what I believe the Holy Ghost has confirmed to my heart as the source of ultimate joy, peace, love and unity with God, my Father, and His Son, Jesus, the Christ. It’s what I feel to the depths of my soul, and it has brought insight and understanding and assurance and miraculous inspiration and joy and peace that I cannot begin to describe adequately here.

I literally have seen the physical elements abated; I have participated in healing the sick and binding up the broken heart; I have seen the wonderful fruit of sweet repentance; I have felt to sing the song of redeeming love; I have experienced a mighty change of heart and a desire to praise my God for His loving grace; I have seen lives change and souls shine forth out of previous darkness - all because of the atoning sacrifice of a God who condescended to give His life for those who accept Him.

Intellectual discussions are important to me, but it is far more important to me to continue the actual ministerial work that I do each day - strengthening the feeble knee and raising the failing spirit and visiting the sick and lonely and widowed in their affliction. I love God and try my hardest to love Him and my neighbor as He has asked me to do. My intellectual understanding of Him is important to me, but my spiritual relationship with Him is much, much more important - and my faith has brought that relationship. What’s in my head has changed, is changing and will change as I strive to study and learn; the peace that is in my heart never will.

The Gospel as "Good News"

When I discuss "the Gospel" I always go back to my parsing tendency. The "gospel" is the "good news". It is NOT the "beat one over the head like a hellfire and damnation preacher" news. (There are those who need that type of preaching, and I have delivered that type of sermon at least once, but it is not best for everyone.) It is the "Exercise faith; Repent continually; Be baptized; Receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost; repeat ad infinitum as you endure to the end; praise Heavenly Father and Jesus that you will be redeemed despite your inability to live to a standard of perfection that otherwise would damn all to an everlasting separation from God" news. It is the "Do all you can do, and I will make up the difference" news.

In saying this, I am not in the mercy-glorying, cop-out-claiming, all-is-well-in-Zion camp. I just choose to focus on the fact that I can muddle my way through life doing the best I know how to do, struggling to change my imperfect self, without overwhelming guilt and shame - because someone bought me and paid for me and is willing to take me home.

"The Prince of Peace"

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

As I said in a previous post, it fascinates me that the title "The Prince of Peace" comes at the end of a list that appears to be written in ascending order of importance. Why is this?

"Peace" equals a lack of conflict, contention, struggle, strife, etc. Spiritual peace, therefore, is a condition - a calmness and stillness that can be shared with others and change their very existence. Being totally peaceful means acting always in harmony with how one should act - never being in conflict with the standards of what one should be. With this definition, one can be spiritually peaceful even while engaged in a battle - or clearing a temple with a whip - etc. It's a fine line - and it is dependent entirely on being in touch with the Holy Ghost. Being "at peace" is analogous to being "right with God" - of having all impediments to perfection removed and being able to access God's full grace with nothing standing in the way.

"The Prince of Peace" is a perfect description of the one who brings people into a unity with God that is known as "The Atonement" - the making of two otherwise incompatible entities one perfectly united whole. It is not "The mighty God" or even "The everlasting Father" who makes this incomprehensible result a reality; rather, it is "The Prince of Peace".

Losing One's Life

As I read the scriptures, it appears to me that Christ didn't accept His part of the Atonement because He wanted to get glory; He left the issue of reward in the hands of His father - no strings attached. He did it because He loved us - pure and simple. He showed that love by laying down His own life for us - by becoming a "minister" and a "preacher". He didn't do it for a personal reward; He did it for our reward.

Frankly, I don't think we will gain an eternal reward by trying to earn an eternal reward. I think we will receive an eternal reward when we quit trying to earn it and focus instead on helping others in whatever way we can - when we end up forgetting about being rewarded and simply love and serve and obey for the sheer joy of doing so and seeing the results in the lives of others. We won't be "given" anything; rather, we will be changed into a condition acceptable to Him. In other words, we will become something.

I think we will not be complete and whole until we can act for our Savior in the "at-one-ment" of others (individually and as a community) - in the process of relieving their suffering, taking their pain and misery from them, bringing them joy and comfort, caring for them in a real and powerful and practical way, and empowering them to do so for others (individually and as a community).

Lessons from the Perfect Life

Our goal is to become Christ-like - or to become perfect (complete and whole) as He and Heavenly Father are. I read the Gospels and the BofM, and I don't get much "theologizing" from Him; I get examples of service and love - interspersed with challenges to love and serve. ("Come unto me," "Inasmuch as ye have," "As I have loved you," "Mourn with those who mourn," "Comfort those," "Do unto others," etc.)

When we are baptized we promise to take His name upon us and always remember Him. In essence, we promise to be Christ to those around us - to do for them in this realm what He would do for them if He were still here - to do for them physically and emotionally here what he does for them spiritually and emotionally in prayer. I find it instructive that we never covenant to preach to each other in any of the saving ordinances; each and every one of them focuses on what we promise to DO - what we commit to become.

Spheres of Peacemaking: Internal, Interpersonal & External

Following up on the last post, it struck me as I considered Jesus' calming of the storm that there are different "spheres" or types of peace - which means, in a very real way, one can be a peacemaker in multiple ways. Using that event as an example of this, let me break peace down into three distinct categories:

1) Internal (within one's self)

As I mentioned in the last post, while the storm raged across the waters and the disciples feared for their lives, Jesus slept. This physical condition can be seen in cases where someone simply is exhausted, so this event might be explained in those terms by an unbeliever, but this does not explain His reaction when He was awakened. That reaction was measured and controlled - not frantic or worried. He simply stood up and commanded, "Peace, be still."

This command illustrates an important point. There is a difference between being at peace and not moving. Jesus commanded both with His words, "[1]Peace, [2]be still."

2) Interpersonal (shared with others)

I have not addressed this aspect of the event in previous posts, but I see the command quoted above as two separate commands - as illustrated in the last section. The first is the command to be at peace; the second is to be still. I believe this statement not only was two commands, but I believe each command was directed at a different target.

Winds cannot feel; they do not experience emotion or the state of internal balance or equilibrium we call "peace". Only conscious, aware, living entities can experience this condition. Therefore, I believe the command, "Peace," was directed at the disciples. It was His way of saying in a hectic moment of fear and great anxiety, "It will be fine. Calm down. You can be at peace." In other words, He was sharing His internal peace with others. If you have ever held a crying child (or even an adult) as she wailed uncontrollably, whispering or cooing or simply holding her, then watched as she finally calmed down (and perhaps fell asleep), you have shared peace in this way.

There are some people who simply exude peace and calm - who radiate peace and serenity and spread peace almost naturally when they enter a room. That comes more naturally to them, but it is a characteristic that can and should be developed by all who strive to be disciples of the Prince of Peace.

3) External (not internal within humanity)

External peace is exemplified by the calming of the winds - the imposition of a command on forces outside of normal human control. Jesus commanded the wind to "be still" - which simply means to stop moving. This is something that I believe is only available to God and those with whom He shares His power. The classic example is ordination to the Priesthood and the power that such ordination entails that includes the right to command the elements, but (to some degree) such power also is accessible to all who take upon themselves His name and act within that designation - who legitimately can "be called the children of God".

One lesson that is overlooked in how Jesus calmed the storm is a simple yet profound one:

Jesus acted because His disciples approached Him in the midst of their storm. They appealed to Him when they said, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" His answer to that question was, in essence, "Yes, I care. See how much I care." It was to give them peace and calm their storm.

Although many storms are allowed to rage on as we gain peace and strength to endure them well, prayer (approaching God and asking for reassurance of His concern for us) can calm some storms in our lives - and help us understand that we truly can be called the children of God.

Peace, Be Still: And There Was a Great Calm

(Before reading this post, please consider reading the last one - "They Shall Be Called the Children of God".)

In trying to understand more deeply what it means to be a peacemaker, I was struck by the way that the following account is worded:

And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships.

And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.

And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?

And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:36-39)

As I thought about this passage, two things jumped out at me:

1) Jesus' state prior to calming the storm;
2) The actual words used to describe the command and its effect.

Prior to this month, I have never considered something quite simple about this account. When the storm first raged, and the disciples were fearful of their safety and their very lives, Jesus was asleep. That is worth considering more deeply:

Jesus was asleep - personally at peace - as the storm raged around him and terrified those who were with him. I will return to that point at the end of this post.

"Peace, be still."

Jesus' "command", when read strictly in isolation from the actual context, doesn't sound like much of a "command". Like, "Let there be light," it is a rather benign sounding statement. However, in the Japanese translation of Genesis 1:3, the feeling is very different. "Hikari ga are" (pronounced "heekahree gah ahre") literally translates as the strictest of commands - roughly equivalent in English to "There WILL be light (because I WILL be obeyed)." With this same perspective, I can picture Jesus standing in the boat saying either of the following:

1) In a soft, gentle, soothing voice - "Peace, be still."
2) In a stern, commanding, authoritative voice, perhaps with outstretched hand - "There WILL be peace. BE STILL."

I lean toward the second picture (the command), primarily due to the statement in verse 39 that Jesus "rebuked" the wind. "Rebuke" means "sharp, stern disapproval; reproof; reprimand." Either way, the description of the result is enlightening.

Verse 39 says, "the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." In this statement, there is a distinction made between two separate effects:

1) The wind ceased;
2) There was a great calm.

As I read this passage, I conclude that there are two aspects of becoming a peacemaker in its fullest sense.

First, a peacemaker takes an active role in stopping contention or any manifestation of "storms" that threaten safety - or, in a very real sense, others' spiritual lives. Remember, this storm wasn't just a matter of danger in the distance; it was causing the water to fill the boat. In other words, the threat - the danger - was very real and imminent. This is a protective action - rebuking the winds that blow - making those winds cease, even if it takes "sharp, stern disapproval; reproof; reprimand." It is critical that a peacemaker understands meekness and mercy, as this understanding is vital to recognizing when rebuke truly is necessary - rather than simply "natural" or convenient or easy. It also is critical that she show "an increase of love . . ., lest he esteem thee to be his enemy." (D&C 121:43) She creates by her actions "stillness" - a condition where it is possible to "know that I am God". (Psalms 46:10)

Second, a peacemaker ensures that this "stillness" is experienced - is felt - as a "great calm". When true peace has been created, it is accompanied by a calmness that can be distinguished from the simple quietude that we generally associate with stillness. Jesus' rebuke of the storm did more than just establish stillness as silence; it left the disciples feeling calm. Silence is the lack of noise; it is merely a passive condition defined as a void. Silence is understood by what it is not - sound.

Calmness, on the other hand, is defined by what it is - an actual feeling - an emotion - something that fills one's soul rather than simply the absence of something else. Again, calmness is something in and of itself - an empowering gift that allows someone to remain unaffected by the storm even as it rages and even more so when it ceases. This allows one to feel "calm" even amid turmoil, and it provides "great calm" when turmoil stops.

I return now to Jesus sleeping as the storm raged around him - at peace and calm as others panicked. He possessed an internal peace, but it was his rebuking of the wind (and the subsequent removal of others' fright and replacement with stillness and calm that extended his own peace to them) that made Him (in this case) a peacemaker.

It is that condition about which I intend to write next - not what it means to be a peacemaker, but rather how one becomes a peacemaker.

Bright Night of My Soul

My friend, Andrew, wrote a beautiful and moving post recently - "Dark Night of the Soul". In reading that post and the subsequent comments, I had an epiphany about my own experience with certainty and doubt. I have been thinking about how to explain the difference between my experience and Andrew's - and, even more interesting, the similar result from such different experiences. I will not try to summarize Andrew's post here; that would not do it proper justice. What I will post here is the epiphany that struck me as I read it and the comments about it.

I have not experienced the "dark night" Andrew describes. I have never awakened one morning feeling lost and abandoned. I have wondered often about that - about why it seemed to have "clicked" so early and completely for me - about why I could have been so "certain" of the Restored Gospel at such a young age. The epiphany I mentioned above concerns the "details" of the Gospel and the "nature" of my testimony - that I have understood and recognized from my early youth.

1) I read the Book of Mormon for the first time in First Grade as part of a reading project at school. (I chose to read it; the other kids were reading Dr. Seuss, The Berenstain Bears, etc.)
By the time I was seven, I had read the Book of Mormon and fallen in love with the way it made me feel - not the doctrine in it, per se, but the way it opened my mind and heart to some incredible feelings and impressions. I am not a "visual learner", and I don't "see" what I read in the classic sense of being able to envision it in colorful detail. I "got" the words, but more importantly I "got" the "speaking from the dust" aspect - and that was more important than the words for me.

More importantly, I recognized places where it DIDN'T say what others believed it said. Even at that age, I was a parser - and I remember thinking that lots of people in my life, including many adults and leaders, didn't really understand some of the things I was reading in the way that they actually were written. I read passages and thought, "I can understand why people think it says ________________, but it just doesn't say that."

That was a foundational recognition for me - that faithful people could read the same words and understand them differently.

2) Growing up, I remember distinctly the words and example of my father. He taught me so many lessons, but the ones that came back to me as I read Andrew's post were the ones that dealt with certainty - the ones that taught me what I could and couldn't know. My dad is not a philosopher; he hated school and struggled there; in many ways, he is average Joe Mormon; he was and is, however, incredibly insightful and brilliant in his own way. Many of my strongest "understandings" of the Gospel were shaped by what he said and how he lived, particularly when it comes to the issue of certainty and doubt.

I have no idea how many times I heard him say, "I don't know", or, "That sounds good, but we just don't know for sure," or, "I'm not sure that's how I see it," etc.

3) As early as I can remember, I have understood the Gospel to be the core, fundamental, foundational principles of God. I have understood our perspectives to be what "we see through a glass, darkly" - our best attempt to make out the details within the general outline we have been given. I have understood the focus of this life to be the process of becoming like God - of taking our fallen nature and repenting, by changing that fallen nature into an exalted ("raised") nature. I have understood that there can be certainty in that process - in the type of faith that motivates us to act in order to change (repent), to accept baptism as the symbol of that effort and to strive to be connected to God through a spiritual line (the Holy Ghost) through the grace of God, but I also have understood that everything else is just details. I have understood that there is certainty in the ideal - in the ultimate end - in the foundation principles, but I also have understood that everything we see and believe and extrapolate and conjecture and assume is subject to "further light and knowledge" - that even with more light and knowledge, we still see through our glasses, darkly.

My eiphany is that I am comfortable living in my own "dark night" that is similar in practical result as Andrew's (one that is not cut off from God but simply cut off from certainty about the details) but that came about quite differently than his did for him. I have lived there for as long as I can remember. I have never believed in the certainty that he describes prior to his own dark night, so I have never felt abandoned by its loss. My "dark night" appears "light" to me, because I have never believed I see things clearly and completely. I just see them as clearly as I am capable of seeing them - which I understand and accept as darkly. I have never been shaken by doubt of detail, because my testimony has never been founded on certainty of detail. There are things I feel completely comfortable saying I "know" for myself, but I have never felt like anyone else had to "know" anything with certainty to enjoy the fruits of the Restoration.

I return to the scripture I mentioned above - I Cor. 13:9-13. In full text, it reads:

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

I believe I know in part, and I believe our prophets prophecy in part. I believe that will change someday, but I have no idea when that will be. There was a time, prior to my first reading of the Book of Mormon, when I thought as a child - that everything was black and white and I could know it all; I put away that belief at a very early age. I believe I see through my own glass, darkly and, therefore, only in part; I believe someday I will know fully.

Verse 8 is the bridge between the characteristics of charity and the outlook charity provides. It says:

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

Given this perspective, I live now with faith and hope that I will understand and know more fully on an on-going basis as my future unfolds. The greatest thing I can do in the here and now, however, is to be charitable - to obtain the characteristics in 1 Cor. 13:4-7 and allow them to grow within me and change me into the type of person who can accept both my own perceptual limitations and wherever others are in their own spiritual maturation process.

I am certain of many things, but those things are principles - not details. Radical changes in policy and even "doctrine" don't shake me, since I have never based my testimony on those things. I believe firmly and deeply in the PRINCIPLE of ongoing-revelation and charity exercised in how I view others - that what I believe now differs from what I believed as a youth and young adult - that what I believe now differs from what I will believe in the future. I believe that the charity God gave me as a youth will not fail me, even as prophecies and tongues and knowledge fail all around me. In my youth, this was an unconsciously proactive embrace of the core concept embedded in the dark night; in my adulthood, it is a light shining in darkness. I like to think of it as the extended Bright Night of My Soul.

For What Do I Hunger and Thirst?

I view the purpose of THIS life as becoming like Jesus was in His mortal life - and the purpose of THE NEXT LIFE as becoming like Christ is now in His post-mortal life. Everything else (specific doctrine, intellectual understanding, nuanced discussions of exegesis, whatever) is secondary to that.

The core Josephism to which I cling is: "I teach them correct PRINCIPLES and let them govern themselves." "Principles" is not equivalent to "doctrines" or "intellectual understandings". That's important to me.

When it comes down to it, I base my core principles on three main statements of Jesus:

"Be ye therefore perfect," (Matt. 5:48) - "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." (Matt. 7:20) - "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." (Matt. 7:21) -- (basically, the entire Sermon on the Mount, but especially those three verses)

When push comes to shove, I don't give a rat's hairy hindquarters exactly what someone says they believe - only what they DO and what they are BECOMING. If they teach Buddhism or if they claim atheism - I don't care one bit. I really don't, as long as they are doing the will of the Father and becoming perfected - and I believe religious denomination has RELATIVELY LITTLE to do with that pursuit.

To be clear and not misunderstood, I believe STRONGLY in the Restoration of the Gospel (the "Good News") - and that what constitutes the "Good News" is exactly what separates us from other denominations. I have served willingly in a Stake Mission Presidency and as Ward Mission Leader, and I am committed to the principle of sharing the Gospel with those who will listen. I believe deeply in the power of godliness mentioned in JSH 1:19 - and in the description of Christianity at the time as "apostate". However, I also believe (given our deeply embedded theology of grace) that perhaps the only over-riding, absolutely necessary, truly unique reason for the restoration of the CHURCH is to establish once again an organizational institution in which the "ordinance orthodoxy" can be practiced - explicitly so that the Buddhist and atheist can be exalted for their sincere efforts to be "just men made perfect". That is SUCH a more empowering, expansive vision of grace than anything that is taught in Christianity at large that I am baffled by those who claim we don't teach grace.

We teach that man will not be punished for Adam's transgression, and if that belief is to have ANY meaning whatsoever, it HAS to be established on such a principle of shockingly liberal grace. "I Stand All Amazed" is my favorite hymn, and it includes the following words to OPEN the hymn:

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me - **confused** at the grace that so **fully** he proffers me."

From my first post on grace here on this blog, I will excerpt the following:

A very insightful friend recently described the process of "taking my yoke upon you" as feeling the purity and power of His sinlessness. I love that construct, but I would add the following: Understanding and truly accepting God's grace occurs when you realize that all of your inherited weaknesses (your temper, your judgmental nature, your fatigue, your lack of self-worth, your never-ending battles with whatever drives you crazy) - everything that keeps you from becoming who you desperately want to become - has been bought and paid for already. He fought that fight for you, and He won. Yes, you were born with things that keep you from being perfect, but He paid for those things - meaning that you truly can take His yoke upon you and walk confidently at His side as a brother or sister with the same eternal potential. It occurs when you realize that, because of the grace that so fully He proffers you, you aren't required to pay for those things; rather, you are freed to pursue those qualities and characteristics you want to acquire to become perfect (whole and complete) - regardless of the tangible outcome of that effort. Understanding this truth makes you free in a very real way. Repentance becomes an exciting, forward looking progression toward wholeness, rather than a depressing, backward-looking, guilt-inducing attempt to beat the bad out of you and never again make any mistakes. Bad habits and painful characteristics will disappear as they are replaced by good ones, not as they are "subdued and repressed by sheer force of will."

I believe an understanding of grace is fully realized when one stops fighting God's grace - when he realizes that all God wants is his willing mind and heart - when he quits worrying about his individual worthiness and starts focusing on his contribution to communal unity - when he simply lays it all at His feet and says, in essence, "I know you understand my weakness; I know you know my struggles and pains; I know you know how I feel about myself; I know you love me and have bought me, anyway. From now on, I will trust your promise and, despite my continuing frustration and my continuing weakness and my continuing failures, I will bounce back each time and continue to grow. I will not despair; I will accept my weakness and imperfection and failure, knowing you don't care, because you love me, anyway. I will get back up each time I am knocked down and continue to walk toward you, until you embrace me and say, 'Well done, thou good and faithful servant' - knowing I don't deserve it and being eternally grateful for the grace that so fully you proffered me."

Why do I share that in this context? It is to say that, while I enjoy the intellectual stimulation I find in the Bloggernacle (LDS-focused blogs), it does not define my discipleship. That is defined by my realization that I am no better in God's eyes than any other child, and that, no matter how my brain defines my doctrinal understanding, all he wants is my love and obedience - in order to take my ugly caterpillar and make it the butterfly it can become. He wants me to understand and know him, but He cares much more that I love and obey Him according to what I feel I understand or know - even if I don't yet understand or know Him fully. My "faithful effort" (actions done despite things not seen) is MUCH more important than waiting to act until I see "face-to-face".

I engage in internet conversations specifically to find ways to hone my discipleship - to plumb the depths of others' understanding to find new ways to bring me closer to my Father. I bristle occasionally when others beat on each other, because that is opposed to the outcome for which I yearn - because it is one of the only things, if not THE only thing, that makes our Father weep. (seeing His children reviling and hurting each other)

Jesus said, "Come unto me all ye that labor, and I will give you rest." He didn't say he would give them heartburn or scorn - or intellectual superiority; he promised rest. That's what I long for in the discussions in which I engage - a place of refuge and rest, where I can drink deeply from the cup of perspective and insight - no matter the theological or denominational affiliation of those with whom I converse. I don't want to fight and argue; I want to share and sup. That is the sustenance for which I hunger and thirst - the soothing sips of spirituality that restore and reaffirm my resolve for righteousness. I don't hunger and thirst after insight for itself; I pursue it for the way it will help me live righteously - to be filled with the Holy Ghost - to do the will of my Father - to bring forth fruits meet for repentance - to become therefore perfected (whole and complete).

Everything else is meaningless if it isn't involved in getting there.