Personal Limitations: We Won't Be Stuck Like This Forever

One of the reasons I hold onto the concept of a redemption and the way it is framed in Mormonism is that there is a clear statement (at least to me) of bedrock faith that we will not be punished in any way for those things we don't choose - and that we won't be "stuck like this forever" when it comes to those things we don't like about ourselves. It's termed as not being punished for Adam's transgression in the 2nd Article of Faith - and I think it's instructive that it is the second one on the list - that it's right after the statement of belief in God and BEFORE the statement about the Atonement of Christ and obedience to laws and ordinances.

Think seriously about that, please. Our first few Articles of Faith are composed in the following order:

1) the existence of the Godhead;

2) no punishment for those things that simply are a part of mortality that aren't chosen by us and, therefore, aren't "sins";

3) atonement (by implication, for "sins") through obedience (by implication, to things we are capable of obeying).

That's a fascinating, compelling, wonderful arrangement.

I know it might not help much in the exact moment of greatest pain, but, at the very least, for me, it is an amazing concept - that ALL of those things we list as our natural obstacles in life will not be held against us in ANY way when all is said and done. When all is said and done, our efforts to change some of them will be rewarded, no matter the degree to which we are (or feel) "successful". I see that as the core of the "truth (that) shall make you free" - that we are loved for who we are and that we will be allowed to escape these mortal limitations - not just in the next life, but in this life (when talking about things we can change) and in the next life (when talking about things that really are beyond our control here in mortality).

To any who read this who are struggling to deal with a particular unchosen trial of mortality: 

God continue to bless you in your efforts, but, most of all, may you find peace in those efforts and an acceptance of yourself as you are - even as you strive to be more what you want to be. This is one case where I think the statement "well done, thou good and faithful servant" applies perfectly - when "enduring to the end" means something deep, wonderful and inspiring.

When Someone Hurts Us

When someone hurts us, it's hard to remember that, sometimes, it's just a case of a good person trying his or her best and simply screwing up.

I know I've hurt others plenty of times in my life, and I hope I am a good person. If I can hurt others unintentionally, just because I'm a stupid, flawed, blind mortal, I try really, really hard to keep that in mind with regard to others. I try really hard to have my first "action" be charitable rather than judgmental. I don't succeed as often as I'd like, but I do try.

My Sunday School Lesson Recap: Jesus' Life As Part of the Atonement

I am going to try to post a summary of the Sunday School lessons I teach each Sunday, but, due to the timing of those lessons, the posts will publish on Saturday and be about the lessons from the previous Sunday.  This was my intent at the beginning of the year, but I am recommitting to try to make it happen, starting today.  I also am going back and posting summaries of some of our former lessons.  They will be dated according to when the lessons were taught.

Thus, the following is a summary of the lesson from last week:

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We talked today about the part Jesus' life played in the Atonement.

1) We read Luke 2:52: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."

I pointed out that in order to "increase" in something, someone has to start at a level less than complete - less than "perfect", in the Biblical sense of being "complete, whole, fully developed"). Thus, the Bible says that Jesus developed over time and gained favor with God as a result. 

2) We read Luke 2:41-50 - the account of Jesus at the temple at the age of 12. We read the entire account, and I pointed out that we always focus on the "good" part - that he was a precocious young man who could astound the church leaders of the time. What we overlook is that he put his parents through Hell for almost a week, not knowing where he was and searching frantically for him. They traveled a full day toward home, then a full day back, then three days searching for him. The mortal young man probably was enjoying himself and didn't stop and think about what he was doing to others.

Literally, he caused pain and suffering - so the Atonement included paying for that instance of him being the one who hurt others - paying for the pain and suffering they felt because of him. We talk about how he suffered to pay for the actions of people, but we never talk about how HE was one of those people whose actions caused that for which he paid.

3) We listed on the board all of the "major" events we know about his life outside his actual ministry: He was born in Bethlehem; he lived there (in a house) until the wise men visited (probably about 18 months, give or take a few - but I emphasized that we don't know and only can estimate based on clues in the story); he moved to Egypt for a while (duration unknown); he was raised in Nazareth; he was in Jerusalem at the age of 12; he started his ministry at age 30; he died at age 33. I pointed out that the experience in the temple at age 12 is the only specific thing we know about his life from an early age until he turned 30.  There are huge gaps in our record of the actual life of Jesus, the "man" - the son of Mary and Joseph. 

4) We read John 15:13 ("Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."), and I pointed out that "laying down one's life" doesn't have to refer to dying. We talked about the fact that Jesus, of Nazareth, had a life of his own - and the only details we have of his life are AFTER he laid down his own life and started his "mission" life. I mentioned that we don't know one way or the other, but he might or might not have left a wife - and kids - and a career - and friends in order to serve others. He was a man, and he had a man's life - whatever that was in his case.

5) We talked about what his mission was - what he did and for whom he did it. We mentioned publicans, sinners, tax collectors, Samaritans, lepers - and I then back to the word "atonement" (at-one-ment) and talked about how that word can refer to more than just an individual's unity with God. We talked about the Intercessory Prayer, especially John 17:21, in which Jesus used the words "they", "we" and "us" - all plural forms - and prayed for collective unity like the unity he shared with his Father. We talked about the difference between "individual atonement" and "communal atonement" - and how Jesus' mortal ministry was focused on taking a broken society (one that was made up of distinct "parts") and working to make it united ("at one"). He served those who were cast off, ignored, marginalized, condemned, etc. - the outsiders. We talked about Zion and what keeps that from happening - that can be the accepted ones - the "in crowd" - the "faithful" who reject others and destroy unity, not just those they reject or who reject them.

6) We talked about how we can "apply the atonement in our own lives" - and I pointed out that we can't suffer FOR the sins, pains, afflictions, sicknesses, temptations, etc. of others, but we can suffer WITH others (for example, mourning with those who mourn and comforting those who stand in need of comfort) - especially those who are not supported by most people. I mentioned that I can't lay down my life in the same way Jesus did, since I have to continue to support my family, but we can give up some of our time and money and other resources to help others. I asked them to consider who the people are that they tend to avoid - who are considered "unclean" in our current society. I told them that if they want to apply the atonement in their own lives, they need to be willing to build Zion to whatever extent possible in order to take our own broken and fragmented society and help make it "at one" - to really love (through active service) those who constitute now what a friend of mine once called "Christ's kingdom of nobodies".

My Sunday School Lesson Recap: Why Would a God Have to Suffer for Us?

I started the Sunday School lesson last week with three questions on the chalkboard:

"Why do pain and suffering exist in this life?"

"What part do we play in pain and suffering - in receiving and causing pain and suffering?"

"Why would a God have to suffer for us?"

Before talking about those questions, we read Alma 7: 11-12, Isaiah 53: 4-6 and Matthew 8:7. We listed all of the things for which the first two passages say Jesus suffered: pains, afflictions, temptations, sicknesses, death, infirmities, griefs, sorrows, transgressions, iniquities and, interestingly, "the chastisement of (punishment associated with) our peace". We read that Jesus suffered in order to know how to "succor (nurture, support, feed, etc.) his people" "according to the flesh" (not at just a theoretical or intellectual level). We talked about things we can understand "according to the mind" without really understanding "according to the flesh".

The first answers from the students to each question tended to be doctrinal ("to teach us lessons" / "to help us learn and improve" / etc.), but we drilled down to the practical answer ("because pain and suffering are unavoidable aspects of mortal life and central to the Plan of Salvation"). In other words, because God approved and decreed we would suffer. He "authored" it, since it was a central (perhaps the central) aspect of his plan.

I then asked everyone to think about the second question and consider that we almost always talk about how the Atonement pays for what we suffer (what is done to us), but we seldom talk about the suffering we cause (what we do to others) and how forgiving us is just as much a part of the Atonement as suffering for others is - since both are aspects of healing.

We talked about why, within our legal system, the person who commits the crime must do the time - and why a judge won't sentence me for what someone else does. We talked about if God could be any different - if there were different rules for God than for us.

We discussed the 2nd Article of Faith and that God couldn't hold us accountable for all of the bad things that happened as a result of the Fall (that we won't be punished for Adam's transgression) - that God had to be willing to take responsibility for what he set in motion and be accountable for it - to walk the walk that he required us to walk - to suffer everything his plan demanded we suffer. He had to be an example we can choose to follow, not a sadistic dictator who causes others to suffer while watching from the sidelines.

We finished by revisiting the meaning of the word "repent" - how it means, at the most basic level, to change in a way that improves or makes better. We re-read Matthew 8: 7 - where Jesus says his central mission is to "heal". I mentioned that the Old Testament says in more than one place that God "repented" of what he had done - and how we change that wording because of how we associate repentance only with sin. I told them that changing the word "repent" to mean nothing more than changing in a way that improves or makes better ("to heal; repair") frees God to "repent" the natural results of the Plan of Salvation (the unavoidable pain and suffering of mortality) by healing us and fixing the otherwise broken link between us and Him.

Thus, God becomes, in a very powerful way, both the author AND the finisher of our faith. I explained that we talk almost exclusively about Jesus' role as the finisher of our faith (the one who pays the price to tie it all together in the end) but that we generally ignore completely the implications of God being the author of our faith (the one who broke the link in the first place, asked us to suffer out of trust, caused the debt to be incurred and promised things we would have to believe without seeing).

The Atonement of pure Mormonism is SO incredibly expansive, deep and profound that we generally craft a Reader's Digest version and forget that the abridged version isn't the author's complete works. I hope I opened the library door for my students today and gave them the encouragement and/or inspiration to walk inside, "feast on the word" and discover something delicious that will nourish their souls - even if it is different in some way that what others have found to feed their souls. I hope I uncovered (and they recognize and taste) what I consider to be the main course of our theology and not get so focused on the condiments, the appetizers, the beverages and the desserts that they forget to enjoy the main course - or never catch sight of it in the first place.

Some Thoughts on Spiritual Pain, Harm and Healing

1) "The incorrect traditions of their fathers" doesn't apply only to those outside the Church. It applies to the Church, as an institution, and it applies to each individual in the Church, as well. (See the allegory of the vineyard in Jacob 5 for a good description of that concept.) "Incorrect traditions" are interwoven into every organization, from the largest to a single person living alone. That doesn't excuse the effects of those traditions, but it's critical to realize - since it helps blunt the natural tendency toward exclusive harshness when one is hurt by someone or something, particularly "the Church".

2) Believing in infallibility (or holding totally unrealistic expectations) hurts much more than accepting fallibility. Those with lower expectations are harmed less than those who have their unrealistic expectations shattered.

3) NOTHING is strictly an academic issue. EVERYTHING has an emotional element to someone.

4) Those who are hurt severely by someone or something have every right to be mad and want to strike back - and, in some cases, they have every right to strike back. Likewise, time and distance are necessary for healing to occur. However, when time and distance don't heal, other proactive steps must be taken. Striking back and lashing out never is the final solution, and they rarely are the best solution.

5) I personally believe that about 75%-90% of the hurt we feel was not intended by the ones who hurt us - even in many cases where the pain was deep and lasting. In many of those cases, someone was acting in a way that they felt was "right" or "necessary" - or it simply had been drilled into them over their own lifetime. In many other cases, the person actually is totally unaware of the pain or harm they caused.  I can NEVER know exactly and comprehensively why someone acts as they do, so I simply can't judge or condemn THEM - even when I am required to judge and even condemn their actions.

6) Many bad things are the choice of the lesser of two evils - or, at the very least, not a choice of one obvious good and one obvious bad.

7) Finally, time and distance can bring healing, but, conversely, time and distance also can distort and push toward extremes - to the end results of both condemnation and denial. Therefore, healing is most likely when initiated as early as possible after the original harm. Festering emotional and spiritual wounds are no different than festering physical wounds in that regard. If left untreated, they will become cancerous.

Total objectivity ultimately is impossible, but attempted objectivity is important.

A Rare Sunday Post: Finding My Own "I am" Amid the Struggles of Life

I wrote something yesterday to a friend who is struggling with some things - especially the paradox between wanting to be fed at church and the desire to help feed others when he isn't feeling fed himself.

I normally don't write Sunday posts, but the thought came to me that I should post what I wrote to my friend - and that I should do so today. I hope that was a legitimate prompting - that it helps someone, somehow who might not have read it if I had posted it on a different day.

Here it is, edited slightly to be appropriate for a public forum:
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I think you are struggling with one of the central paradoxes of the Gospel that Jesus of Nazareth preached - that to find one's self, what someone thinks of as "self" has to be lost first.

Most people never understand that paradox fully in this life, and I am one of those most people when it comes to understanding it "fully" - but I've been unable to "find my own true self" by attending Church for so long that I gave up trying a long, long time ago. Instead, I focused in church on helping others find themselves.

Yes, my personality lends itself to that, but my experiences also helped me understand a little better how wonderful it can be to lose myself within a group. 

I want to share a story here that might or might not help, but it came to me as I read your message, so I hope it is inspiration.

Long story short, I had finished most of 11th Grade math by the time I left 7th Grade, but my rural junior and senior high schools had no idea what to do with someone in that situation - so I repeated 3 1/2 years of math until my class reached in 11th Grade where I had been individually in 7th Grade. One of the reasons I came to accept and appreciate that situation is that in 8th Grade I had a math teacher who couldn't teach. He knew the math, but he just wasn't a good teacher.

I had two choices: pout or teach. 

I chose to teach - and I found my life's love of teaching. I did about four weeks' worth of homework in one night, then, when the teacher finished introducing the material to the class and went back to his office, I got up, actually taught the concept in a way that the other students could understand and walked around the class helping individuals with the problems that were stumping them. I was, in practical terms, the teacher of that class. I literally, in a very real and powerful way, came to understand the joy and wonder that can occur when we put aside what we want individually (what we deserve and what "should" happen) and focus on helping others who aren't where we are get to where we are - or to where we are going. 

I understand individual personalities and that it was easier for me "naturally" to have that outcome than it would have been for others - but . . . 

Looking back on that year, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I learned something important about myself and what I perceive to be an important principle - and what I want to focus on for the purpose of this conversation is that I learned it through an experience that absolutely sucked in every objective way imaginable (for lack of a more genteel way to say it). It shouldn't have happened; the educators in those schools should have been more aware of me and my needs and done SOMETHING to help me; they had a professional commission and duty to do so; they shouldn't have "kicked me off of" the educational track I was on when I arrived; they failed miserably in fulfilling that commission. 

I'm so glad they did. In fact, I think I'll be grateful eternally that they did. 

I'm not saying that such an experience is right for everyone, and I'm not saying it's OK for people to screw up big time in the performance of their responsibilities, and I'm not saying anyone else should (or could) have had my own experience in that situation - but I am saying there is a power in many Gospel paradoxes that is impossible to grasp until we're involved in a searing, unfair, difficult struggle that forces us to weigh competing ideals and discover there often is a balance hidden somewhere in the struggle - a balance that is personal and individual and intimate and enlightening in our own efforts to find our own "I am".

My Most Challenging New Year's Resolution Thus Far - To Define "Endure" Properly

At the beginning of the year, when I wrote my New Year's Resolution post, I realized that this month's resolution would difficult to define properly - at least, to define in such a way that I believed would be both practical and acceptable to me personally.  This was because I do NOT want to pray for or request additional things to "endure" in my life, since, as one of my favorite scriptures says in Matthew 6:34:

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

 

I have enough things to "endure" that I don't need more - and, yet, 1 Corinthians 13:7 does say that charity "endureth all things". 

For this initial post, I want to share just one thing that hit me as I contemplated this dilemma:

1) When I looked at the various definitions of "endure", one in particular caught my eye - particularly as it relates to the idea of charity enduring all things.  It was, quite simply:

to continue to exist or last 

What hit me in this definition is that there is not hint of negativity or "struggle" or suffering inherent in or necessary to continuing to exist or last.  In other words, "endureth all things" does not have to be about increased pain or heavier burdens.  It can be nothing more than the idea expresed in Pslams 119:112:

I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end.

Translated into the context of my New Year's Resolution, it would read:

I have inclined mine heart to act in the ways outlined in the previous descriptions of charity alway (to internalize charity so that it will become a "natural" part of my very character), even unto the end.

 

In other words, perhaps the idea of charity enduring all things is more of a qualitative, longitudinal statement than it is a quantitative measurement.  Perhaps it relates more to the statment that "God is love" - and the idea that we should strive to emulate and become like Him - than to the idea that the amount of our suffering is more important than how we deal with whatever we are given to endure.  Perhaps enduring ALL things inlcudes blessings and things for which we naturally are grateful - since they also can change us and take us away from charity, if we allow them to do so.  Most importantly, perhaps, is the idea that there is an element of conscious choice in this type of character development - that I can choose to "incline my heart" to react in a charitable way.

I have come to believe that "enduring more things" (as an initial step toward enduring all things) is a perfect concluding resolution for this year.

A Stunning Post on Grace, Mercy and Violence

Grace Vis-a-vis Violence - StevenP (By Common Consent)