Part of my testimony is due to my study of other theologies and religions. Frankly, I don't "desire to believe" any of them like I desire to believe what is taught within "Mormonism" and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It really is my foundational desire (what I want), so I've chosen to pursue a deeper understanding of it - to reconcile what I can reconcile and gnaw on what I can't reconcile for now, with an understanding that much of what we believe is our best attempt to understand a little better what can't be understood. It works for me.
It also has given me a bit of perspective on "the alternatives" - again, enough to realize that I just don't want them. They won't give me any more joy in the here and now than I already have, and they don't give me the hope for a continuation eternally of what brings me joy in the here and now. I feel what I believe is true; I want it to be true; I don't want any radically different "truth"; I accept the concept of continuing growth and revelation (the evolution of understanding that will continue to change my perspective) - so I accept the difficulties inherent in the history of the Church as a natural result of mortality, and I pursue the joy I want and for which I hope.
I could make religion a very complicated thing if I chose to do so, and I could get all wound up in knots about it if I chose to take that route, but I have SUCH joy and peace and wonder in my life without doing those things that it would be folly to do so. I also am just humble enough to realize that I always will see through my religious glass, darkly, no matter how hard I try - and, at the core, foundation level, that is a fundamental principle of Mormonism. It might get lost in the natural tendency to want to know it all RIGHT NOW far too often, but it's there, nonetheless.
The Unsuspecting Bridal Party
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