This is posting late today, because I left the house this morning to drive to Canton, MO and get settled into our new house prior to starting at my new job on Monday. Needless to say, I have been a bit distracted, but I have been focusing on my resolution for this month - praying more specifically and less generically. I will post more later in the month about my experience so far, but I just want to share one quick thought that hit me quite hard:
As I said last week, I struggled a bit in setting this resolution - since I don't view God as a vending machine that will give me whatever I want if I just give it the right coins. What struck me is that I have had experiences where I knew I was praying for the Lord's will to be done and, later, realized that what happened really was His will. In other words, I didn't realize at the time, but after "enduring to the end" I was able to see His hand in the process and realize His will had been done.
This led me to contemplate the idea that I should be praying to know God's will AS it unfolds, so that I can recognize it happening in the moment. If I can learn to accept His will no matter what, I then can ask for those things specifically that I know He desires of and for me, seek to find His will, knock on a particuar door that must open in order for His will to be accomplished, etc. If I'm not asking, seeking and knocking for my own desires alone but rather for His will (and whatever of my own will meshes with His will), I have full confidence the passage that is the heart of my resolution this month can be actualized - that I can ask and receive, seek and find, knock and have it opened to me.
Life with Autism: Eligibility Meeting
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