I'm Sick, So Here Is a Top 10 List (kind of) that I Hope Will Make You Laugh

1. Nothing "normal" is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
 

2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
 

3. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
 

4. Bad decisions make good stories. 

5. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
 

6. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report to which I swear I did not make any changes.
 

7. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
 

8. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
 

9. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

10. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.