Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Gay Mormons: Mourning With Those Who Have Cause to Mourn

What I Wish I Had Said - Kristine (By Common Consent) 

This post is one of my favorites on the topic of homosexuality and the LDS Church, since it is not "attacking" or "defending" the Church itself in any way.  It is teaching an ideal for which we can strive whether our policies and doctrines change or not.  The comment thread is deeply thought-provoking (both excellent AND terrible, in spots) - and I think it's worth reading, since there are some very thoughtful comments and discussions from people with different perspectives. 

I do NOT want to imply anything in linking this post other than what I have said above and will say below.  PLEASE, no NOT try to "read between the lines" in any way.  My intention is straightforward and direct:

We truly need to mourn with those who mourn, and homosexual members who try to live the Law of Chastity as it relates to them (differently than it is applied to heterosexual members, in important and fundamental ways) truly are among those who have reason to mourn the most in our church.  We need to get to know them intimately, just as closely as we get to know our straight friends - and we need to try to understand them and their lives much more clearly than we tend to do.  We need to be involved with them just as we would with any other members or non-members, regardless of sexual orientation.  If some are living lives of rampant promiscuity, and if I generally avoid those living lives of rampant promiscuity, I have no problem avoiding them.  If others are living lives of celibacy or monogamy and fidelity, and if I don't avoid heterosexuals living such lives, I should not avoid them.  If I embrace heterosexual friends physically, I should embrace homosexual friends physically.  They have cause to mourn greatly largely because we fail to live the second great commandment in regard to them - more so than with others whom we see as "different" in important ways. 

I have been dismayed by some of the comments I have read recently in the Bloggernacle regarding this general topic, so I wanted to provide a link to the post I feel best expresses my reaction to those comments. 

I think we also need to understand and accept why the VAST majority of people who are born gay in the Church leave without automatically chalking it up to just the fact that they are gay (that they have "strayed").  If we truly loved them exactly as we love the members who are straight, I believe the result would be very different - even if nothing changed doctrinally at all.  Many would stay, and those who leave would do so without the same degree of bitterness, isolation and rejection many feel currently. 


Anonymous said...

Thanks Ray,beautifully expressed.It has never been a problem to me,and I resent that what I have been persuaded to believe as 'the church' would have me think otherwise.We need to bear one another's burdens inasmuch as we have the capacity to do so.I hope I have raised my children without hate or fear in this regard,and that I have adequately communicated to them primarily that 'the church'does not represent me in this issue.

Richard Alger said...

This is beautiful.

Richard Alger said...

And very sad at the same time.

Matthew said...

Well said, Ray.