Sharing the Gospel vs. Doing Missionary Work: Net Fishing vs. Rifle Hunting

I like to frame sharing the Gospel / missionary work in terms of fishing and hunting.

Think about the last person you shared the Gospel with or invited to a church activity. Why did you talk with that particular person?  When I am leading a lesson discussion, I try to get three or four answers (which almost always center on a shared interest or friendship or determination of readiness), and then I explain the difference between fishing in Jesus' time and hunting in our time.

Jesus didn't bait a hook and cast a line into the water in the exact spot where he thought the fish were most likely to be hiding. Jesus threw out his net and gathered in whatever fish swam into it. He preached to the masses and let people follow him if they chose to do so. On the other hand, we tend to grab our rifles and try to find the perfect target for our message - saving our bullets for the right one and even praying that the right one will walk into our scope sights.

I'm not talking about approaching everyone we see, like a full-time missionary, but rather talking with everyone we meet about whatever normal, everyday thing pops into our minds and seeing where the conversation leads.  I'm talking about casting our lives upon the waters and seeing who swims up to us and wants to talk about our lives. 

My brother was raised in central, rural Utah. The hunting approach was the only possible approach, since each ward had about 500 members and maybe 5-10 non-members living within its boundaries. Thus, every non-member had been shot at multiple times and was adapt at ducking the bullets and/or finding good cover. When he moved to Oklahoma, he told me he was amazed at how naturally and openly everyone talked about church and religion and God. It was done in the course of normal conversation - no conversion motive and not awkwardly, just as part of regular life.

Likewise, my mother couldn't carry on a conversation for more than about 10 minutes without having the discussion include some aspect of the Gospel, since it simply was part of how she viewed life. She never preached to people or overtly even talked about the Church; rather, she simply talked with them - and Gospel principles leaked into the conversation.

To me, that is the heart of pure Gospel sharing - when it just comes up naturally because of who you are as you talk about life.

Feeding Individuals and a Community Isn't Easy

My family has a history of physical issues that make it hard for us to eat meat without choking - unless we are very careful to chew it extremely well before swallowing. I haven't had that exact issue, but one of my little brothers almost died of choking on a relatively small piece of meat, and I have an aunt who choked to death at the dinner table. Thus, discussions of teaching meat vs. milk at church mean something different to me than to many members. 

I share that only to emphasize that every person has unique dietary needs and issues of some sort - some that are critical to health and continued life and some that deal only with taste and preference. For that reason, I am wary of describing anything as universally "milk" or "meat" - or insisting that "The Church" teach or not teach something specifically because it constitutes milk or meat to me or to someone else.

I believe strongly that we should be engaged in "meatier" conversations and classes as adults of God, but I also realize that there are many physical adults who still are children of God spiritually - and that, to some degree, that is true of all of us. Thus, I throw out really small portions of "meat" in most group settings carefully to see if it is digestible before putting a larger chunk on the communal platter - and I often "chew on" the meat I put out there by taking a moment to frame it honestly but carefully as something a friend once said - or something I've thought about over the years - or something an apostle once said - or some other phrasing that makes it less likely to cause someone to choke.

Finally, I stopped expecting or requiring "The Church" to feed me a long time ago and shouldered that responsibility myself. Seriously, I wasn't getting "fed" at church with what I needed for my own growth before I left Primary - so I've been feeding myself for a long, long time. I still get a really good meal quite frequently at church, in one form or another, but it usually is dessert to me - not the main course.

A Few Random Thoughts about Faith, Understanding, Change, Sharing the Gospel and Love

I allow myself to believe whatever I come to believe and try to live according to the dictates of my own conscience.

I don't try to force or convince others to believe as I believe. I try to help them figure out what they personally believe and then live according to the dictates of their own consciences.

I try to study and understand every conceivable view about something - to sort through them as carefully and thoughtfully as I can and then craft my own understanding.

I allow myself and others to change their minds about anything - to continue to believe and live according to the dictates of our own consciences, understanding that even our own consciences can change with time and experience.

I share what works for me, but I do so without any expectation or requirement that others agree and/or comply.

More than anything else, if I have to err, and I know I will err, I try always to err on the side of love.

Sunday School Lesson Recap: Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet

Last Sunday was the 5th Sunday, and, since I was leading the 3rd hour combined adult lesson on "Using the Internet to Share the Gospel", I decided to teach the same lesson in my Sunday School class, as well. Preaching the Gospel is framed as a priesthood duty, and Elder Oaks had used serving missions as an example of how women are authorized to exercise priesthood authority (meaning that sharing the Gospel online can be seen as a priesthood duty for both men and women), so I figured it was okay to teach this lesson in a month focused on the priesthood.

I read (and we discussed briefly) the following sentences from Elder Ballard's commencement speech at BYU-Hawaii in Dec 2007 ("Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet") that was reprinted in the July 2008 Ensign:

I am in my 80th year. By some accounts that makes me pretty old. Actually, some folks think some of the Brethren may be too old to know what’s going on in your world. Let me assure you we are very much aware.

Ours is the world of cyberspace, cell phones that capture video, video and music downloads, social networks, text messaging and blogs, handhelds and podcasts. This is the world of the future, with inventions undreamed of that will come in your lifetime as they have in mine. How will you use these marvelous inventions? More to the point, how will you use them to further the work of the Lord?

There is truth in the old adage that “the pen is mightier than the sword.” In many cases it is with words that you will accomplish the great things that you set out to do. And it’s principally about ways to share those words that I want to talk to you.

The emergence of new media is facilitating a worldwide conversation on almost every subject, including religion, and nearly everyone can participate. This modern equivalent of the printing press is not reserved only for the elite.

There are conversations going on about the Church constantly. Those conversations will continue whether or not we choose to participate in them. But we cannot stand on the sidelines while others, including our critics, attempt to define what the Church teaches . . . Perceptions of the Church are established one conversation at a time.

All of you know that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are reminded and encouraged continually to share the gospel with others. The Church is always looking for the most effective ways to declare its message.

Now, may I ask that you join the conversation by participating on the Internet to share the gospel and to explain in simple and clear terms the message of the Restoration.

Remember, as the proverb states, that “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). And remember that contention is of the devil (see 3 Nephi 11:29). There is no need to argue or contend with others regarding our beliefs. There is no need to become defensive or belligerent . . . We simply need to have a conversation, as friends in the same room would have.

I then shared ten suggestions for internet participation taken from a post by Daria Black in February 2007 that I found when I started blogging entitled "The Blogger's Guide to Comment Etiquette", plus two more I added, and we discussed how each suggestion relates specifically to sharing the Gospel online. For this summary, I will skip the obvious applications but add an explanation for suggestions that aren't as obvious.

1. Write a comment, not spam.

Spam is the bane of all webernet existence and has caused many a blogger to resort to counterproductive measures such as closing their comment section. Even worse than spam, however, are comments that do little more than consume bandwidth. What most bloggers are looking for is feedback that continues the discussion about the topic at hand. Comments like “You don’t know what you’re talking about” or “I was here first,” are not helpful.

Take the time to read the blog entry and put some effort into writing a response that adds to the conversation and/or helps the blog writer. Your comment is your calling card. The webernet is an open rolodex and as such, how you present yourself through your words will tell people whether or not they want to look you up.

I simply mentioned that the first few comments a person writes in any comment thread (and the first few posts a person writes on a new personal blog) can establish that person's reputation and determine, to a large degree, how seriously that person will be taken by others. I emphasized that they don't have to try to write "perfect" or deeply profound comments and/or posts, but they should try to make sure they are commenting and furthering the discussion - or creating an opportunity for thought and/or conversation.

2. Stay on topic.

This policy may differ from blog to blog. Some blogmasters don’t care if the participants drift off onto tangent. Others will do a round house kick on you if you get too close to the white line. As a general rule if you find that you fall into a discussion with other visitors about something unrelated to the post, offer to email them privately.

We talked about "threadjacks" and how it is impolite to change the course of the discussion from what the author of a post intended - that when a person takes the time to write something, respect is shown best by honoring that intent. I did mention that some blogs and authors don't mind threadjacks, especially if lots of comments and good discussion have occurred prior to the threadjack.

3. Respect the rules.

Some bloggers will have an official comment policy in place. Usually because of issues they’ve run into with their feedback. Read it and respect it. Visiting someone’s blog is just like being a guest in their house. The last thing they want is you pooping all over their couch and doing so will usually result in them pushing you out the front door.

The kids got a kick out of that image. (I had to warn the adults in the 3rd hour about it and offer a quasi-apology before we started.)

4. Comments should be comprehensible.

Make an effort to use good grammar and spelling and to communicate your thoughts clearly. People cannot respond effectively to your concerns if they cannot understand what they are in the first place. Don’t forget that people cannot see your expression or hear your voice. Flame wars are often the result of a misinterpretation of the meaning of your words. This is why smilies and snark tags, such as “sarcasm”, were invented. Use them.

Also, be sure your writing reflects the level of formality of the blog. Throwing around slang terms on a blog that is highbrow may cause you to appear uneducated even though you are Mensa member. On the other hand, using language more suitable for a doctoral thesis on a blog that is very informal may come across as pretentious and snooty.

We talked about how lots of people assume Mormons are ignorant and how badly worded comments, with grammatical and spelling errors can reinforce that perception and actually hinder sharing the Gospel in a meaningful way. Again, I emphasized that comments don't have to be perfect and can include a mistake here and there, but that lots of people write a comment or post in Word first and run SpellCheck prior to copying it into a comment or post.

5. Avoid setting the whole blog ablaze when flaming a topic.

Let’s face it there are some subjects in life that, no matter how hard we try, cause us to flip out at the mere mention of them. But while you have the right to act like a jerk when the topic is raised, unless you want to be banned from the internet I suggest you refrain from doing so.

I mentioned, explicitly, that there is a reason some people refuse to talk about religion and politics - that they are highly emotionally-charged issues. We listed some religious topics that fit that description: abortion, gay marriage, morality, polygamy, witnessing/testifying, abuse by leaders, etc. I simply pointed out that we need to comment and post about these topics as carefully as we can, understanding how emotional they are.

We talked about respect for differing views and the idea that all people have the right to worship according to the dictates of their own consciences - without being called stupid, blind, idiotic, apostate, etc. for following their own consciences.

6. Follow up on comments.

Be sure to respond to comments directed at you even if just to say you don’t wish to talk about the subject. Services such as Co-Comment can help you track conversations you are involved in.

In the context of sharing the Gospel, I mentioned that I had commented recently on Facebook about a newspaper article that badly mis-characterized the recent statement from the FP and Q12 about the priesthood and apostasy. The title was, "LDS Church leadership says that only men are worthy to have the priesthood" - and my comment was simply, "That title is extremely inaccurate - and the inaccuracy is important." I told them that a high school classmate with whom I had not talked in decades responded with, "Why is that, Ray?" I then had a chance to go into more detail about what the statement actually said, as well as Elders Oaks' and Ballards' most recent statements about the priesthood.

If I hadn't looked at that thread (followed-up on my comment), I would have missed a golden opportunity to share the Gospel with that friend in that way. I also pointed out that it would have been simply disrespectful not to follow-up and answer a sincere question.

7. Keep it to a reasonable length.

Most blog topics don’t require more than a one or two paragraph response. Avoid writing a novel especially if it is your first visit to a blog. It also helps to read the other comments to make sure you are not adding to the broken record effect.

I asked the students how they respond when they realize something they want to read is multiple times longer than they thought it would be. They all agreed that they often skip it entirely. I mentioned that when the same person writes long epistles all the time, people simply see the person's name and skip all of their comments entirely. I told them they can't share the Gospel if nobody reads what they write.

I also emphasized that it is better to say, "I agree with Mary," or, "Wonderful comment, Mary," than to say exactly what Mary said in another comment.

8. Link to your sources.

When citing material to make your case, provide a link so that the participants can read it at their leisure. Be careful of linking to your own website when you first start commenting at a group site, since this can be seen as spam if you are a first time visitor.

Particularly when sharing the Gospel, if you are quoting or summarizing someone (like an apostle), sharing a link to what they actually said is important - and allows someone to go to lds.org, for example, in a non-threatening way. They might or might not read more there, but at least they have the opportunity to do so. It's also critical to make sure you quote or summarize them accurately, since it can be highly embarrassing to have the person read the linked talk and come back with, "I read your link, and the person didn't say what you claimed was said."  

(In the 3rd hour adult class, the 2nd Counselor in our Stake Presidency mentioned how important it is to make sure any quote you forward or reference is accurate.  He used an example of a friend who had forwarded a quote via Facebook that was attributed to President Kimball - but that President Kimball actually had not said what was quoted.  He mentioned how easy it is to go to lds.org and run a search for any quote to see if it is accurate.  I really appreciated that contribution, and I added Snopes.com as a good way to check the accuracy of things.)

9. Do not feed the trolls.

They’ll just follow you home and poop on your doorstep.

The students loved this, and we talked about how intentional trolls often strive to derail good conversations by being inflammatory and diverting the thread into a verbal fistfight - and how they will keep doing so if fed but leave if ignored. I also used it as a chance to talk about how we (Mormons) can be trolls, if we: 1) go to conversations about other religions and start preaching the Mormon gospel there (like commenting on baptism for the dead in a thread about Catholic communion); 2) do nothing in our comments except call people to repentance; 3) go to a liberal or conservative blog and comment from the opposite perspective simply to show them how wrong they are; etc.

I also told them that they should read each comment as if someone else was writing it to them - and that, if they wouldn't like it being said to them they probably shouldn't say it to someone else - that they might be acting as a troll if they submitted that comment.

10. A word about anonymous commenting.

For one reason or another, people feel the need to make anonymous comments. This practice is not right, wrong, good or bad. In some cases this is the only option available especially when personal safety is a concern. However, just so you know using a pseudonym is the same as talking to people with a paper bag over your head which can hurt your credibility. Even when leaving negative comments, it’s best to leave either your name or your web identity.

I told the students that I agree completely that there are times and situations when commenting anonymously is important, and I used a group blog where I am an administrator as an example (where people who are struggling with faith crises often are worried about how family, friends and church leaders might react if they used their real names), but that, generally speaking and especially when sharing the Gospel, if they don't feel comfortable attaching their real name to a comment they probably shouldn't submit the comment as written.

The last two suggestions (the ones I added) were:

11. Don't participate just to argue, correct, testify or call to repentance.

We had talked about that with a couple of the other suggestions, but I wanted to emphasize it at the end of the lesson, as well.

12. Pick compatible group blogs.

I told them that my personal blog has a section that lists multiple Mormon-themed blogs, another one that lists a few aggregators of Mormon-themed blogs and another one that is my personal blog roll of individual blogs I like to read regularly. I mentioned a few of the larger group blogs in order to illustrate just a bit how diverse the options are: By Common Consent (one I really like with lots of variety in the posts), Times & Seasons (one I like but don't read nearly as often as BCC), Millennial Star (an extremely conservative one I tend to avoid, since it can be polemic), Feminist Mormon Housewives (obviously not a conservative one, which drew some chuckles), Wheat & Tares (one that addresses a wide range of topics from multiple perspectives that I tend to like), Mormon Momma (less doctrinal with more of a "practical, everyday" slant), etc. I told them to look for a forum that fits what they want to get out of online participation - to make it a positive experience of growth and learning and not just a place to share the Gospel.

Sunday School Lesson Recap: "To Mormons, with Love"

Rather than trying to recreate the conversation flow from class last week, I'm simply going to post the talking points we covered - with some examples of what was said by the students. It was a wonderful experience.

Since the topic this month is "Building the Kingdom of God on Earth", I shared the main suggestions from the book, "To Mormons, with Love" (written by Chrisy Ross, a non-denominational Christian living in Utah County) - and we talked about each suggestion, both in terms of how we share the Gospel (now and when they serve missions) and how we interact with non-Mormons, generally. In each case, after discussing the basic concept, we talked about how they would feel if someone in a different religion acted how we sometimes act when dealing with non-members.

To Mormons:

• Know Other Religions: One of the students mentioned how much she hates it when one girl at school keeps telling her what Mormons believe - and is wrong every time. I mentioned how many comments I've heard in church meetings about what others believe that simply are wrong.

• Referring to “the Collective”: Everyone agreed that this is a bit creepy, when they really thought about it.

• Elusive Non-Members: Living in an area where they are the minority, they didn't understand this one at first. I was glad to see that lack of understanding.

• Don’t Proselyte (Try to Convert Others): One of the students shared an experience when he was invited to dinner at a new friend's house - and the friend's parents spent the whole time trying to convince him that the LDS Church was bad and that he needed to become Baptist. They understood the importance of getting to know someone and being a real friend first and really loved the following quote:

“Long-lasting friendships can be tainted by an early effort to proselytize. A new family in an LDS neighborhood does not want to feel like the first thing everyone wants to do is change who they are and what they believe.”

• Explain Invitations: One of the students said that he invited a friend to a ward party, not realizing it was a Pioneer Day activity, where everyone was dressed in 19th Century clothing, right down to long dresses and bonnets. His friend freaked out, understandably. We then talked about inviting people over for dinner (or any other setting) and not telling them the missionaries would be there - and referenced the other student's story about his Baptist friend.

• Take No for an Answer: They all understood how obnoxious it would be if someone else kept asking the same question over and over and over again, even when they said they weren't interested.

• Follow Your Own Rules: This one is the trickiest, since not all Mormons do everything the same way, and since I have stressed continually that I want them to own their own faith, even if it's different in some way(s) than others around them. We focused largely on the following concept:

Don’t present something as universal to all Mormons if it isn’t required of all Mormons - and understand the difference.

To non-Mormons (and, for the class discussion, Mormons living / serving missions in areas where they are a small minority):

• Don’t believe everything you hear: You’ll hear weird rumors, crackpot conspiracy theories, and disgruntled stories full of bias. Believe your own experiences first and foremost.

• For some Mormons, the bubble is real: Interestingly, every one of them understood this immediately - but they hadn't thought about it being true of other places dominated by other religions.

• Give people second chances: Or more than that. Be patient in building friendships.

• Accept where you live / serve: The reason most of your neighbors live there is because they like it, so fighting it isn’t going to win friends.

• There is diversity if you look: When you only see people as “LDS” (or Baptist, or Catholic, or Jewish, or Buddhist, etc.) you fail to grasp the complexity of the person beneath that label.

• Read the religious texts that are important to church members: Chrisy felt this was important to understand what people believed, so she read the Book of Mormon for that purpose. I told the students that if any of them are called to serve a mission in an area with lots of Muslims, for example, I hope they read the Koran.

• Ask doctrinal questions of Mormons first, not non-Mormons: This applies just as well to us trying to understand others.

• Lighten up: Don’t be offended when someone does try to proselyte. Don’t waste energy on negative feelings.

• Follow the rules: This also is a bit tricky, because there are some things in other cultures we simply shouldn't do. The key is not to reject entire cultures just because they are different than ours - and, to the greatest extent possible without violating one's own conscience, doing as the Romans do when in Rome. Even in cases where you don't feel good about "following the rules", don't flaunt it. (It would be like taking beer to a Mormon ward party - or serving pork at a Muslim gathering.)

I really enjoyed this lesson, since it had a lot of participation from the students.

Sunday School Lesson Recap: Meaning and Purpose of Modern Commandments

I just spent over 30 minutes typing the lesson summary for today, and I lost it somehow when I tried to post it.  Thus, I am writing an outline form summary this time. We talked about each component of the outline below, to various degrees.

The Meaning and Purpose of Modern Commandments, including Things We Often Don't Call Commandments

- Started by repeating that there are things I see as commandments and things that I see as rules built on commandments - and that the key is determining if there is a way to follow a commandment or a rule and be in compliance with the two great commandments to love God, self and others. Used the earring example from Pres. Hinckley's talk (where he said explicitly that he was expressing his own opinion) to show how non-commands can morph into being seen as commands by overzealous members. Referenced the Biblical concept of building hedges about the law. 

- Asked students to help me list commandments we hadn't discussed yet. Limited list to a few we could discuss adequately.  Final list was: Tithing; Word of Wisdom; Church Involvement (combined phrase by me from "Attend Church" and "Callings in Church"); Share the Gospel; Prayer.

1) Tithing

Meaning = "a tenth" (Stressed that there is no official calculation method dictated by the Church - that different members pay on gross, net, "increase", weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, annually, whenever they get money, etc.)

Purpose = from a student: Detachment and humility

Purpose = I added "Fund the Church" (Discussed Old Testament model and modern similarities and differences; discussed exactly what tithing funds and what it doesn't.)

2) Word of Wisdom

Meaning = Read verse 2; discussed "temporal salvation" (related to time; worldly; temporary)

Purpose = From verses 3-4, protecting the weakest saints from evil and designs of conspiring men (Described scene with men conspiring to market products to increase and spread addiction, to make more money, even while knowing the terrible effects on the consumers who buy the addictive products - planning early death, in many cases, specifically to make money. Used example of people who handed out chewing tobacco to elementary students at the county fair in Alabama when we lived there. Those are evil designs, created through real conspiracy.)

3) Church Involvement

Meaning = participating in the Church organization (Stressed that participation to whatever degree is possible is the standard, and that this standard is not definable to anyone except the individual participants. Thus, "properly involved" might be participation in every scheduled meeting or it might be someone who can't leave their house but calls or writes letters or knits presents or smiles at everyone they meet. Also discussed, again, my situation in Missouri when we couldn't attend anything but Sunday meetings and Wednesday activities - and my High Council assignments, due to our financial situation.)

Purpose = Broadening circle of friends to love and accept beyond what is natural (Establishing Zion in a real way, like the orchestra described in Elder Wirthlin's "Concern for the One" - valuing all instruments instead of just the piccolos.)

Purpose = Running the Church organization and not making 20% of the membership do 80% of the work.

4) Share the Gospel

Meaning = Teaching faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. (Discussed the practical and conceptual difference between "sharing the Gospel" and "doing missionary work".)

Purpose = Help people return to God and be like Him.

Purpose = Share what is valuable with others. (Discussed young man in class who will be baptized soon and other young man in class who invited him to come to church and learn about the Gospel and the Church. It was a very touching discussion to have a young man say, sincerely, "I asked him because I care about him," and to have the other young man say, "I am here because I want to be closer to God than I've been in the past.")

Talked about why we don't have more people in our church meetings who are different than we are in obvious ways - about why we tend to share the Gospel with people who are like us and with whom we are comfortable. Asked them to look outside their normal circle of friends when sharing the Gospel.

5) Pray

Meaning = "talking to God" and/or "communicating with God" (Discussed difference and stressed that everyone prays in whatever way they feel they can communicate with God. Shared that I have no problem having a prayer in my heart always - that I try to have and open heart and mind, to send thoughts and feelings heavenward whenever I have them - but that I struggle with formal, kneeling, spoken prayer. I understand the value of both, but the fact that I am praying continually makes it hard for me to break from that to verbalize formal prayers individually.)

We Are Called to Be Fishers, Not Hunters

I believe perhaps our biggest failure in the Church is how we compartmentalize and stigmatize and speak about sharing our faith with others.

I don't like the term "missionary work" when it comes to normal members of the Church. In fact, I really dislike it, based on how it usually is discussed. It implies that all we need to do is "work" harder (with all the negatives that includes). I think it has led to efforts by many members to "figure out who is ready to hear the Gospel" - when we should be opening our mouths with all and believing they will be filled with whatever each individual needs to hear. We too often act as if we are hunters, trying to pinpoint that specific deer that we can bring down with a well-placed shot. I prefer to go back to Jesus' original invitation and act as a fisherman who casts his net and sees what fish swim within its reach.

I like "share the Gospel" better, but I like "share the Gospel by sharing your life" best. The Church and the Gospel are an integral part of who I am, so why shouldn't I talk about it in the normal flow of many conversations? Protestants of every stripe do it that, as do Buddhists and Muslims and all kinds of people. Not everything has to be a "missionary opportunity" - but almost everything deals with my faith and my religion. If I talk naturally about it without concerns about "converting" anyone, those who are touched will ask - and those who aren't won't. I truly believe, based on personal experience, that if I am open to be used, the Lord will put people in my path who want to learn more - but I have to be talking about my life and my faith for them to be touched.