Personal Revelation Can Be Powerful Even When It Is Not Unique

I want to share something that I learned a while ago that has meant a lot to me since then.

There is a phrase in my Patriarchal Blessing that has meant a lot to me over the years, since it applied so amazingly to my life in a way that couldn't have been seen when I got the blessing. In talking with my siblings over the weekend of my father's funeral, I found out that one of my brothers has the exact same phrase in his blessing - given by the same Patriarch. That phrasing might have been unique to us, but it might be a stock phrase he used in lots of blessings.

What hit me when I heard my brother mention the phrase relative to his life (after the initial surprise wore off), and when he talked about how important it is now in his unique situation, is that I don't care if it is unique to us or part of thousands of other blessings. It doesn't lessen what it has meant to me in the past either way, and it would be stupid of me to throw away real meaning and power simply because it might not be unique wording. The "revelation" (understanding) I have received from contemplating that wording has been special - far more special than the wording itself.
I don't believe the heavens part and the Patriarch always speaks, comprehensively, exact words dictated by the Holy Ghost. I do believe, however, having had some really good discussions with Patriarchs whom I respect and admire, that they often get impressions of things they then put into whatever words make sense to them - exactly as has happened to me occasionally when I'm giving Priesthood blessings. Sometimes those impressions are somewhat ambiguous, but sometimes they are so clear and different that I have been surprised to hear what I'm saying. Thus, I see a Patriarchal Blessing as the best approximation of revelation possible given the avenue / conduit / speaker involved.

It's a lot like I see scripture - not infallible, often wrong and sometimes filtered almost completely through personal prisms that hide nearly all of the pure message, but meaningful and inspired to various degrees.

Reconciling "Unfilled" Promises in Patriarchal Blessings

I have found that as I talk with some people about their Patriarchal Blessings there has been an underlying assumption that their immediate, initial "understanding" of the blessing is correct - that if things don't happen as they assume the blessing describes, then the blessing is "wrong". Two of the best examples of this are those statements that deal with marriage (including children) and longevity.

Let me use two specific examples:

1) Someone is given blessings related to adult life, then that person dies before reaching adulthood. If the Patriarch were seeing the future, wouldn't he have stopped the pronouncement of blessings before marriage and kids and career and education and adult church service? To me, this is the easiest example to address, since I surely wouldn't want it to be stated (or even implied) in a daughter's blessing that she would die as a teenager. I think that would be cruel and would change totally the way she would live her life - and generally not in a positive way.

My takeaway from this example:

A Patriarchal Blessing is a guide focused on a full life. Whether or not each individual lives that full life is not the job of the Patriarch to ascertain - with rare exceptions that prove the rule. There generally is the "dependent on your worthiness" clause (although I know of one case where that clause does not appear and the blessings are phrased in a way that makes it clear that worthiness will never be an issue - which has been correct), but I believe there also is an underlying, unstated, assumed "dependent on the vagaries of life" clause.

2) Someone is told they will marry and raise children, but she reaches the age where she no longer can bear children and is still single. This is tougher, since it seems like such a straightforward promise.

I believe there might be an eternal element to these blessings, but I try to use that only as a last resort - since I believe these blessings are intended primarily as a guide for this life. So how do I reconcile the marriage and children promise?

This is where my own view gets a bit unorthodox. We are conditioned (properly, I believe) to interpret statements like this in accordance with the "Gospel/Church ideal". I believe that must always be our initial read, unless prompted by the Spirit. Therefore, this statement is taken to mean, "You will marry in the temple and give birth to sons and daughters . . ." Many times, however, that simply isn't what actually is said by the words on the page.

Non-temple marriage and adoption are legitimate fulfillment of the actual statement, but it is easy to ignore those options in life if reading only in light of the "ideal". If a person reaches 30 (arbitrary number pulled out of thin air) and has no immediate prospect for a temple marriage, I have no problem whatsoever with that person looking actively for a non-temple marriage - if that person feels inspired to do so. I know that is heretical to many, and I don't preach it as the general rule, but I do know that exceptions do exist for every rule, and 50,000 out of 5,000,000 still would be only 1% - a true exception.

I haven't even gotten to the fact of others' agency and how their choices impact our lives. I think that plays into a lot of the statements in our blessings and whether or not they come to full fruition.

Quick Thoughts on Patriarchal Blessings

My mother's PB is incredibly short (hardly any advice or counsel at all), and this was from a man who was known for his long blessings. My mom is too humble to admit it, but, looking back at her life, she really didn't need much counsel or advice. However, the two things that were said were absolutely spot-on and described a mental condition that was undiagnosed until almost 10 years after the blessing and unknown at the time by her family.

Looking back on my wife's life thus far, her PB identifies every single one of her major issues - those with which she struggles continually. It's not self-fulfilling prophecy, but rather real insight into many issues of her upbringing and natural tendencies. One fascinating aspect of both of our blessings is that the focus in each section dealing with marriage is her. (She is the focus in hers, and she is the focus in mine.)

I believe the concept of Patriarchal Blessings is powerful and inspired, but I believe that they are only as infallible as the individual who gives them - meaning that none of them are completely infallible. I also believe that very few of them are inevitable. My mother's experience is an exception that proves the rule, I believe, since she herself is an exception that proves the rule. The process and the event are an amazing part of my own testimony of the Restoration, but what I make of my Patriarchal Blessing still depends on me.