Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Setting Limits When Callings Get in the Way of Family

I've talked with a lot of people over the years who have struggled to find a proper balance between the time they spend with their families and the time they feel obligated to devote to church callings.  What I have told them generally is focused around the following statements from church leaders - since they often want validation from church leaders.  

In "Concern for the One", Elder Wirthlin mentioned that one group that stops attending church are the "tired" - and he put the responsibility to fix that on those who are making them tired. Thus, it is important to avoid spending so much time in church callings that exhaustion occurs. 

In a world-wide training session, Elder Packer said that the Church is established to serve families, not families established to staff the Church.  It's critical to remember that prioritization, especially when others expect more than is possible to give. 

Yes, absolutely it's okay to set limits. If we don't do that, unfortunately, the 80/20 rule will apply by default - especially since so many people who end up in leadership roles are do-it-all-ers and can't accept letting some things get left undone. That's true of nearly ALL organizations, frankly. If you show you are willing to put in overtime on a salary, guess what happens? In fact, many salaried positions are assumed to include what normally would be considered overtime - "whatever it takes to do the job".

1 comment:

Naismith said...

When my husband was called as bishop, the stake president told him one guarantee was that he could not do it all. He advised to plan on a certain amount of time to dedicate to the calling, and stick to that limit, except for emergencies.

Also, in my stake (and this is not uncommon, I have heard) the wives of bishops and high councilors must have their recommend interviews with the stake president himself, and there is an interview that follows about whether the husband is spending too much time away from the family.