I've talked with a lot of people over the years who have struggled to find a proper balance between the time they spend with their families and the time they feel obligated to devote to church callings. What I have told them generally is focused around the following statements from church leaders - since they often want validation from church leaders.
In "Concern for the One", Elder Wirthlin mentioned that one group that stops attending church are
the "tired" - and he put the responsibility to fix that on those who are
making them tired. Thus, it is important to avoid spending so much time in church callings that exhaustion occurs.
a world-wide training session, Elder Packer said that the Church is
established to serve families, not families established to staff the
Church. It's critical to remember that prioritization, especially when
others expect more than is possible to give.
absolutely it's okay to set limits. If we don't do that, unfortunately,
the 80/20 rule will apply by default - especially since so many people
who end up in leadership roles are do-it-all-ers and can't accept
letting some things get left undone. That's true of nearly ALL
organizations, frankly. If you show you are willing to put in overtime
on a salary, guess what happens? In fact, many salaried positions are
assumed to include what normally would be considered overtime -
"whatever it takes to do the job".