As I thought about how to structure my resolution this month to "refocus on prayer and fasting," I re-read the posts I wrote originally in February when I first focused on prayer for a month. In doing so, something struck me that has sobered me greatly.
While I feel I have grown much from my attempts to internalize the characteristics and principles articulated in the Sermon on the Mount over the past two years, there are certain areas where I have not improved much - and praying formally is one of the most obvious. I had some wonderful insights this past February, but they have not changed my actions much as time has gone by. I am sure I realized this might happen when I first laid out my resolutions for the year, since I felt compelled nearly a year ago to dedicate this month to refocusing on prayer and fasting - and as I type this post tonight something strikes me that didn't register earlier:
I have great reasons to pray more fervently and more formally this month than perhaps I have over the past months of the year. In at least three distinct areas of my life, I am facing a challenge that will require help outside my control to be resolved properly. Also, I simply can't tackle them one-by-one - focusing on praying and fasting about them individually. I need to do so simultaneously with all of them.
I am grateful once again for inspiration of the Spirit - that makes it possible for these resolutions to become active exactly when I need them, in the their specific focus, the most.
I'm not sure at this point if I will blog about the specifics of each situation this month, but I will write about the experiences I have as I refocus on both internal and verbalized prayer and on fasting this month. As part of that process, I would ask that anyone who reads my blog regularly remember me in your own prayers - even if only generically for now.