Monday, November 17, 2008

Embracing Those Whom Others Will Not Embrace

The growth of the Church stems from the strength and depth of the testimonies gained and developed by the membership prior to and following baptism. That is a given. However, frankly, I think the Church blossoms in direct proportion to how well regular members and local leaders understand the concept of friendship and fellowship - since I think that is the essence of what Jesus taught and lived. Yes, He taught ideals that often were even stricter than the original 10 Commandments, but He also put His arms around anyone who would open up to them - living among saints and sinners alike and, particularly, embracing those whom no others would embrace.

I wonder sometimes, "Who are the lepers in our modern society - or even in the Church? Who is the women taken in adultery? Who are the untouchables Jesus would have touched - the unembraceable ones Jesus would have embraced?" I then wonder, "Am I touching and embracing them in any significant way?"

13 comments:

SilverRain said...

There are the obvious ones—gays, smokers, beggars—and the less obvious ones—the ones that don't quite fit in. Maybe they are a little too outspoken, maybe they don't wear the best clothes to church. Maybe they are a little extra rowdy in the hallways, or are converts who are expected to understand the whole culture of the Church. Sometimes, they are those who just don't agree with the prevailing opinions.

jendoop said...

I love this concept, but in my opinion it is not true. The ones being embraced have the agency to choose. Often they are so caught up in the sin and consequences of it that they just can't break free. We should serve for the sake of serving, truly love, not because we expect that person to change.

Examples? My DH picked up someone from jail, signed for his temporary release, brought him to church for the 3 hour block and then returned him to jail. This kind of outreach happens constantly in our inner-city branch. We have seen a dramatic decrease in attendance. We have approx 350 members on the records and had 69 in sacrament meeting yesturday.

Anonymous said...

I think people often fear contamination,that they may not be strong enough to deal with the temptation or the pain or the disorder-it's sad but I also think that sometimes people need that fear to keep themselves safe.It all has a function,and hopefully we are working with the spirit as individuals sufficiently to bear correction and push the envelope,inasmuch as we can feel safe enough to do so.We all need each other's patience and forgiveness.

Papa D said...

jendoop, ultimately there is agency to accept an embrace, but that agency can't be exercised until someone tries to embrace them. What they do after that is there choice, but we also shouldn't abandon the effort simply because they reject the first offer.

All of us are sick in some way. Think how we would feel if God never reached out to us proactively - if He simply sat back and waited for us to reach out to Him. In many cases, they must have the chance to love us, because we first offered to love them.

Papa D said...

I agree completely, anonymous. Fear is a big factor in our hesitancy to embrace others - especially for those who have done so in the past and been hurt. "Perfect love casteth out all fear," is a wonderful ideal, but it's not something that comes easily or automatically - again, especially for those who have been burned in the past.

Papa D said...

jendoop, I've been thinking about your comment, and I realized that the post did not make something clear enough. Therefore, I edited it and added something at the very beginning.

Thanks for making me think further about how to prhase my thoughts here.

Papa D said...

SilverRain, somehow I forgot to mention how astute your comment is. There really are many who fit the category of unembraceable in many ways that aren't immediately and visibly obvious. This really highlights the need to reach out to ALL in love and ambrace everyone.

"In the quiet heart is hidden sorrows that the eye can't see." Often, we don't understand why some close themselves to others - but we need to keep trying to reach out, regardless.

Joe said...

I was in Albertson's a couple years ago, and there was this young guy by the fruit who had all these tatoos and earrings, and a chain going from his nose to his mouth. He was very intimidating. Had a shy, almost sad look on his face. This woman came in, very professional looking, wealthy looking, and when she came near him, she very warmly said hi, how are you? This guy absolutely lit up and they talked for a minute. Later on, he was going up to people with a big smile saying "hello, how are you?" It was incredible. That woman made a huge difference just by smiling and saying hello. This post is a great reminder of how we should treat each other.

By the way, I get my Patriarchal Blessing Friday. Kind of a follow up from a previous post.

Papa D said...

Thanks, Joe. That is a perfect example of what I was getting at.

Congrats on the Patriarchal Blessing. That's cool to hear.

jendoop said...

Thanks for considering what I had to say.

Recently I've been reading a book, "On Becoming a Person" by Carl Rogers. It's about a certain type of psychotherapy (I'm studying psychology). To cut to the chase this type of therapy focuses on unconditional positive regard (aka- unconditional love) as a method for helping the client find their own true path, to become their best truest self. Absolutely no judgement, rules, or anything of that nature. Just acceptance and understanding.

I'm not sure of the totality of it but it makes me wonder if a far larger percent of our teaching and learning in the church should be about love instead of judgement and commandments. That the best way to teach and help others is completely without judgement, condemnation or counsel. Too often as leaders and teachers we see others as projects, something to be fixed. I say love as-is, no expectation of change. It will make us all alot happier and more effective.

This concept has great relevance to families as well.

jendoop said...

That didn't sound like I don't believe in the commandments, did it?
I do believe in the commandments, but application is so personal. There are all kinds of things I need to improve but what exactly I should be working on right now is between myself and the Lord.

Papa D said...

I agree, jendoop, with what you are saying. The balance is in being able to teach an ideal for which we should strive while maintaining an acceptance of the reality of our inability to live that ideal. That's the main reason I love the Mormon concept of the Atonement - that the gap between what we want to do and what we can do is paid for ("redeemed"), and we are freed to pursue our potential without overwhelming guilt for the effects of the Fall in our own lives.

That is central, I believe, to the 2nd Article of Faith - and something few people really understand well enough to escape unnecessary guilt. It really is a balance, but it's so cool to find it.

Jami said...

For me, it is easy to love sinners of all stripes, but it is very hard to love those who will never stop needing: the mentally ill, the chronically inept, the permanently poor, those to whom I can never give enough. I’ve made the effort to overcome my reticence. I have been an insane, sinful, inept pauper on occasion, and because I have been given hugs, I too must hug.