With that in mind, I want to share the following generality - understanding it is not a universal constant that applies to all situations:
If the Spirit is telling you to do something, he's likely to share that with others involved.
Often one person will receive the initial inspiration, but if others are going to be impacted to a large degree and in important ways, I believe it is critical to allow for those others to receive confirmation of that inspiration prior to implementation of the decision. This is one of the reasons I like the council model so much for groups. I don't like committee decision making, necessarily, in many instances (although it is important in some instances) - but I like "counciling". There is an important difference.
Committee decisions require no decision be made until everyone can reach a mutual decision, which means that the ultimate decision often is a compromise (or is postponed indefinitely) - OK, but not even close to ideal in many situations. True council decisions require open discussion and active, sincere consideration of all voices and perspectives - but, ultimately, the decision must be reached by the leader of the council and accepted by the group body. Council decisions can and often should be a compromise from the leader's initial thought, and those decisions can be postponed, but this approach allows decisions to be made that do not require consensus in the traditional way. They require acceptance, and that is not the same thing as pure consensus.
The key, in my opinion, is that the leader ask and listen PRIOR to sharing his or her initial opinion - which, in practical terms, means that the group body might not know in the end what that initial opinion was. I believe the Spirit can share aspects of inspiration with individuals that differ in perspective from that which is shared with others, and combining those aspects into one vision / answer / solution can be powerful.
In the case of spouses, I believe strongly that one spouse should not dictate to the other. After all, those two are supposed to be one - so, theoretically, one half shouldn't be making major decisions for the whole. Thus, I appreciate the change that has been made in the past few years in the way that the global Church leadership has addressed the concept of presiding in the home - focusing on a couple presiding together as equal partners. In this instance, the best decision-making process is more of the standard committee model, not the council model.
It's hard for some members to let go of the former paradigm, but it's important to accept that change.