One of the things I hope my wife and daughters get out of Relief Society is the recognition that every person needs a group where they are acknowledged, understood and loved for who they are - not for whom people want them to be.
I know a lady who grew up in a home where she was the stereotypical overlooked and under-appreciated child. She was a peacemaker, naturally faithful, a great student, etc. Her parents, however, took that for granted and held her up as an example to everyone - imposing unrealistic expectations that reinforced her natural guilt complex and made her desire to disappear and escape those expectations. We still communicate occasionally, and every once in a while she still mentions feeling lost even while in a group - because she grew up being overlooked, not because she was absent physically.
I hope Relief Society functions as a real community of sisters where all are valued and recognized and acknowledged and known and involved. I know that is idealistic, but it still is my hope - and I am sorry (truly apologetic) if describing that hope causes pain for anyone in a different situation. I only can pray that it will change, through the efforts of the women in each Relief Society group.