In a PEC last year, I heard this exchange - and I think it illustrates the need to let people govern themselves:
Missionaries: Bro. New Convert needs a calling.
High Priests Group Leader: He told me he is getting overwhelmed by everything he is being asked to do and needs to move at his own pace. He feels like he is being asked to do something every meeting he attends (say a prayer, read a scripture, give input on the lesson, etc.), and he isn't comfortable with that type of public action yet.
Bishop: That’s fine. Ask him to attend the New Member Lessons Brother Whatever is teaching, but tell him we will not push him to move faster than he is comfortable moving. Tell him to let you know when he feels ready for a calling.
Bishop to other attendees: Don’t ask Brother New Convert to do anything, including prayers, unless you talk with HP Group Leader first and he clears it with me. We will never try to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.
I love that bishop.