Friday, March 12, 2010

I Am Who I Am

Honestly, I can’t know exactly why anyone stays in or leaves the Church - or gains or loses faith in anything. I have no idea. I have a hard enough time feeling confident that I understand why I believe what I believe. I have had some amazing experiences that I simply can’t chalk up to anything but God and the reality of the Restoration, but I personally have had those experiences and felt that way since I can remember. Therefore, in a way, I might not have “chosen” to believe; it might be simply part of who I am.

I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m me; others are others; as long as each of us is doing the best we can to live the most we know or believe or want to believe, I can’t judge the why or how. I try to share what brings me joy simply because it brings me joy - and I try to learn from others about what brings them joy.

I admire others who struggle or have struggled but remain civil and open and sincere every bit as much as I admire those who understand the issues that make others struggle but never seem to waver. (I have a harder time with those who want to make others struggle as they do.) I think we devalue “Judge not that ye be not judged” far too much, and we place way too much emphasis on belief over action.

The central point of this post is that, in the end, I need to try to take responsibility for my actions - whether I truly choose them or not. Perhaps I am not in control as much as I believe, but at least I am trying. I also need to open my mind and heart and arms to anyone who also is trying (and even to those who aren’t, with proper caution) - no matter their denominational classification or “level” of faith. Given my view of the Atonement, that’s pretty much all that matters to me.

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