Empathy Is Never Wasted

Empathy is Never Wasted - mulling and musing

Is the Atonement Literal or Symbolic?

When dealing with the Atonement I don't think we can separate the symbolic from the literal, since we have no idea how it all happened. I think when we try to divorce the "symbolic" from the "literal", we end up killing what we are analyzing - just like trying to separate the spirit from the body to understand each better. Sure, we might end up understanding each part better in isolation, but we've destroyed the unique combination that made it worth studying in the first place. Isolating the symbolic or the literal - and accepting only one of them - causes the Atonement to cease to be "real" or "living" for me. 

I choose to believe that the Atonement (all of it - not just the suffering part) is both highly symbolic and highly literal - and I'm not sure at all where to draw those lines. Honestly, I prefer to not draw them in permanent marker; pencil works just fine - and no recorded lines work even better. At least, for me that works better, since I have no problem admitting I really have no clue - and that allows me to accept whatever works best for me at any given time.

For Thanksgiving: A Post about Enduring Things for which I Am Thankful

Thanksgiving was two days ago, and, as I thought about my New Years Resolution post for this weekend (introducing more extensively the resolution for December - to "endure more things charitably"), I decided to post a list of things I have "endured" that have taught me more about charity than I would have understood without them.  Here are some of those things:

1) Being raised in a house with a mother and five sisters

I had a father and two brothers, also - but growing up amid that much estrogen taught me patience and love in a very specific way.  (*grin*)  In the immortal words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that." 

2) Having a wife and four daughters

I have two sons, also - but see my explanation for #1 above. 

3) Being different from my earliest childhood memories

I realized at the age of seven, while reading the Book of Mormon on my own for the first time, that I understood it differently in some ways than others around me - including my parents, friends and ward leaders.  I realized at the age of about eleven or twelve, while reading Jesus, the Christ (by James E. Talmage) for the first time, that I wasn't alone in many of my views - but there was no way to share that epiphany with any of my friends.  They already thought I was stuck-up simply because I talked differently than they did - but understanding it was ok to be different (even in some "fundamental, religious" ways) has been a great blessing in my life as I interact with others who are different, as well. 

4) Repeating math I had learned already for 3 1/2 years in junior and senior high school

I am thankful in hindsight that I had to endure almost four years of repitition and boredom in my math classes, since essentially teaching my 9th Grade math class in the absence of an effective adult teacher led directly to my discovery that I love teaching.  If I had attended a junior and senior high school that knew what to do with me, I probably would have ended up being a mathematician of some kind - and I honestly can say I probably would have missed many of the highlights of my life and careers. 

5) Poverty on more than once occasion

I have been out of work more than once in my life, and, in one case in particular, it occurred as a result of taking a moral stance and being fired for it.  That led to the longest period of unemployment in my life and perhaps my greatest personal trial of faith - but it also led to two distinct careers that have been incredibly rewarding for me, albeit not financially. 

More importantly, in relation to this post about charity, it also taught me in no uncertain terms to appreciate and not condemn or judge others who are struggling - that there are good, righteous, intelligent, hard working people who are not blessed materially continually - that one's current financial condition is not an automatic indicator of personal worth - that the "Prosperity Gospel" might be valid at the communal level, but it isn't valid at the personal level.  I knew that righteousness does not equate to wealth (or even comfort) from watching my father growing up - but my own poverty blunted my own prideful tendencies somewhat and taught me that anyone can struggle in ways that seem incomprehensible to them prior to those struggles. 

6) My marriage to my "split-apart"

This is one instance where I refer to the definition of "endure" in my post last weekend - "to exist or continue".  It has been my great privilege for the past 24 years (next month) to have been able to exist and continue as half of a unique whole.  Mama has taught me charity in too many ways to list here - and she has been the single greatest blessing in a greatly blessed life. 

7) Blogging

Finally, I am thankful for having been able to "endure" through the schedule I set for myself when I first decided to keep a personal blog - and especially when I decided to post daily, except on Sundays.  I also am thankful for the time I have spent getting to know others in group blogs over the past four-plus years.  It has been time-consuming, but it also has given me glimpses into souls I would not have known otherwise - and that has taught me charity, as well, in a very real and important way.  It has been enlightening, especially, to work with those who are struggling with their faith and testimonies - and I will be thankful eternally for that experience. 

So, to all who read my thoughts here - occasionally or regularly:

Thank you for enduring with me!

The Power of Honoring Ritual

1) I love performing baptisms in the temple. It is, without question, my favorite activity there - even though I thoroughly enjoy all the ordinances. I particularly am grateful that the Church practically has demanded that those who perform the baptisms slow down and do so at a "normal" pace.

A few years ago, I decided to treat each and every baptism as a separate and distinct ordinance, as it should be considered and truly is. I know the baptismal prayer without having to think about it, so before each baptism I look at the name, memorize it (with a few exceptions - some of the names . . .), bow my head, close my eyes and voice the prayer in the exact same manner as I did when I baptized my own children. I speak clearly and pronounce each word with care. Then I open my eyes, look at the proxy and lower him or her into the water the same way I would if I were baptizing a new convert or one of my children. It has been an amazing experience.

2) In my current calling, I receive e-mails occasionally from the Stake Executive Secretary asking me to indicate approval of a stake calling that needs to be issued. Whenever I see such an e-mail, I pause, close my eyes and say a very quick, simple prayer that I will be able to know if there is any reason why the calling should not be extended as proposed. I don't know if I will ever receive a "Don't approve this" answer, but just taking time to honor the "ritual" has been a neat experience.

3) Whenever I am at the podium announcing a calling and asking if there are any who oppose that calling, I always take a moment and scan the congregation (clearly and distinctly) to see if anyone is raising their hand. Then I turn and look at those sitting on the stand. I feel confident those on the stand won't be opposing the calling(s), but the pure ritual should provide them the honor of being included in the request to show disapproval if they so desire.

I believe that ritual loses its power when it is not accorded respect and serious consideration - when it becomes nothing more than vain repetition in practical performance. 

I Like My "Updated" Church

The Church as Software: How Many Versions? - SFaux (Mormon Insights)

Did Jesus Literally Suffer for Our Sins?

In essence, I see Jesus as the great and final "scapegoat". If you know about that ancient custom (think about the parable of separating the sheep from the goats), the Jews would take a goat, symbolically load it down with the sins of the people then let it loose in the wilderness - thus symbolizing God's forgiveness of His people.

I see Jesus as the "human" representation of that ancient ritual - the one chosen by God to symbolically carry the sins of the people, be rejected and "cast away" by that people and, thus, come to represent His forgiveness of them. The "addition" in the case of Jesus was the carrying of ALL their suffering - not just the guilt for their sins, but also the pain caused by their sicknesses and simple mistakes. Thus, He became not just their temporary sin scapegoat but their permanent "Savior" and "Redeemer".

Personally, I think it was important to have Jesus be crucified by the Romans, because that was the ultimate expression of their oppression - their great communal pain and suffering and guilt. Honestly, I don't try to understand what he actually suffered in the Garden. I tried that once in the MTC, and I essentially came to understand that it wasn't necessary to understand it to accept it. In effect, I was allowed to see that it's not the actual pain or mechanics that is important; it's the symbolism "embodied" that is critical.

It's one of the aspects of Mormonism that is the most "glorious" to me, but it's also one of the things that I believe is generalized for a reason. Sometimes, the symbolic needs to have a literal alternative to help those who think and see literally, and sometime the literal needs to have a symbolic interpretation to help those who think and see symbolically. I believe this is the ultimate example, so I accept both ways of looking at it as "legitimate" on an individual level - and the literal option as the one that should be taught as the general, default presentation.

Blessing Our Children with Words

Blessing My Daughter - Margaret Young (Feminist Mormon Housewives)

Just Wait Until You See Him After You Get Married . . .

Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who don’t. There must be some powerful reason for that, since every “objective” or “logical” evaluation would seem to say that the results would be reversed - that two people should live together and “test it out” to see if they really are compatible - that those who do should have a much lower divorce rate. It’s fascinating that it doesn’t work out that way.

I see a great "deception" in living together, since really all it does is lengthen the “courtship” - the time when you are putting on your best face to try to impress the other person. You get married thinking you really know the person, but all you know is the person you simply have been dating more intimately. When you get married, your guard gets let down and you realize the person you lived with isn’t the person to whom you now are married - and it can be crushing. You feel betrayed and deceived - whereas those who have not lived together are much more understanding of the change. Often, those who don’t live together are even told something like, “Just wait until you see him/her after you get married . . .”

There also is the aspect of trust and commitment: one couple is firmly committed and focused on the positive, while the other is almost looking for reasons not to get married. Even if marriage occurs, it’s hard to change that basic mindset and perspective. It’s hard to look for faults and reasons to avoid marriage for an extended period of time, then stop doing so once the wedding occurs.

Most people don't stop and think about that - the habituation of skepticism and critical evaluation (which is a topic for discussion with many more issues than just cohabitation and marriage).

My Most Challenging New Year's Resolution Thus Far - To Define "Endure" Properly

At the beginning of the year, when I wrote my New Year's Resolution post, I realized that this month's resolution would difficult to define properly - at least, to define in such a way that I believed would be both practical and acceptable to me personally.  This was because I do NOT want to pray for or request additional things to "endure" in my life, since, as one of my favorite scriptures says in Matthew 6:34:

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

 

I have enough things to "endure" that I don't need more - and, yet, 1 Corinthians 13:7 does say that charity "endureth all things". 

For this initial post, I want to share just one thing that hit me as I contemplated this dilemma:

1) When I looked at the various definitions of "endure", one in particular caught my eye - particularly as it relates to the idea of charity enduring all things.  It was, quite simply:

to continue to exist or last 

What hit me in this definition is that there is not hint of negativity or "struggle" or suffering inherent in or necessary to continuing to exist or last.  In other words, "endureth all things" does not have to be about increased pain or heavier burdens.  It can be nothing more than the idea expresed in Pslams 119:112:

I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end.

Translated into the context of my New Year's Resolution, it would read:

I have inclined mine heart to act in the ways outlined in the previous descriptions of charity alway (to internalize charity so that it will become a "natural" part of my very character), even unto the end.

 

In other words, perhaps the idea of charity enduring all things is more of a qualitative, longitudinal statement than it is a quantitative measurement.  Perhaps it relates more to the statment that "God is love" - and the idea that we should strive to emulate and become like Him - than to the idea that the amount of our suffering is more important than how we deal with whatever we are given to endure.  Perhaps enduring ALL things inlcudes blessings and things for which we naturally are grateful - since they also can change us and take us away from charity, if we allow them to do so.  Most importantly, perhaps, is the idea that there is an element of conscious choice in this type of character development - that I can choose to "incline my heart" to react in a charitable way.

I have come to believe that "enduring more things" (as an initial step toward enduring all things) is a perfect concluding resolution for this year.

A Liberal Is Just a Conservative with More Friends

I heard a brilliant description of political extremism in college, and it has stuck with me all these years later:

Both extremes say the same thing; they just word it differently. The "Conservative" says, "I understand Absolute Truth. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong." The "Liberal" says, "There is no Absolute Truth. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong." The only real difference is how narrowly they draw their circles. 

Meanwhile, those of us who live somewhere in the middle end up getting rejected by both extremes, since we share various views with both. The extremes, however, rarely recognize and acknowledge shared ground; rather, they focus on differences - ridiculing all who don't agree completely with everything they believe.

I don't know how many times I've had someone who is more liberal than I call me a conservative - or how often someone who is more conservative than I call me a liberal. Occasionally, it's really frustrating; generally, it just is amusing.

"At the extremes, a liberal is just a conservative with more friends."