Living According to the Dictates of Our Own Consciences Is NOT Rebellion

I don't teach my kids rebellion - EVER. I teach them to think about everything and live according to the dictates of their own conscience. They can do that without rebelling, and I model that for them.

How do I do that?

1) By talking about things I hear at Church with which I disagree, but ALWAYS in the context of how much I love and admire the people who say them - and ALWAYS in context of how much I love serving in the Church - and ALWAYS in the context of why I disagree, based on my view of the pure Gospel of Christ and the pure core of Mormonism. My kids know full well that I don't believe everything I hear in Church - and even in General Conference occasionally - and often can tell me something with which I disagree before I mention it to them. For example, they know I don't like one of the lines in "Away in a Manger". They laugh about it now, but it will be a foundation for them when they hear things that really bother them - and that has happened with my oldest four already more than once.

2) By skipping some meetings / gatherings / events at church for other things - or simply because right now we can't afford the gas costs of driving 50 miles round-trip for such things. We go on Sunday, and we go on Wednesday - and we go to something else very rarely. All those other things are optional in their entirety, so we do what we can - and I teach them that making that choice is not wrong in ANY way.

Inclusiveness Really Is an Ideal

Feed My Baby Sheeps - Steve P. (By Common Consent)

Suggestions on How to Share the Gospel Properly

I have been asked more than once for suggestions on how to share the Gospel.  Here are some suggestions:

1) Distinguish between the Church and the Gospel. Share each of them for what they are without conflating them.

2) Distinguish between preaching the Gospel, sharing the Gospel and inviting people to worship or fellowship with you at church. These things can be done simultaneously, but they also can be done separately - and most of the issues I've seen in my life occur when one would be appreciated but a different one (or more than one) is attempted.

3) Share the Gospel with all, in word and deed; share the Church by introduction, invitation and sometimes inspiration, seeing with whom it sticks and with whom it doesn't.

4) Realize that some people desperately need the Gospel RIGHT NOW; some people really need the Church RIGHT NOW; some people really need both RIGHT NOW; some people really don't need or can't recognize the need for one or both RIGHT NOW - and that, if our theology is correct, they will have a chance to understand the Gospel and accept it at some point.

5) Realize, therefore, that our focus shouldn't be on converting / preaching to / sharing with everyone right now. Rather, it should be on helping everyone we can in whatever way we can - and that, for some people, sharing the Gospel and the Church really will be a great blessing. Seek and pray to find those people. 

5) Realize that some people have real needs that simply can't be met right now - and that all you can do is what you can do. Sometimes that is simply giving unconditional love, even in times when unconditional acceptance is not possible.

6) Pray / ask / yearn for inspiration to know / feel / intuit what individuals need.

7) Be confident enough to ask others to back off and let you be the one who lets them know when direct missionary discussions and conversations are appropriate. Seek that understanding actively. 

8 ) Finally, let go of the fear of not doing something perfectly and realize that doing your own personal best is enough - no matter what that personal best is.

Sometimes All We Need to Do Is Point Out the Blessings that are There to See

When the Lord Points, Look--or, the Value of Lifting a Finger to Help - Jeff Lindsay (Mormanity)

The Danger of Seeking for Miracles

I have come to believe strongly that those who simply MUST have miracles to believe will find them - but that what they find might or might not be of God, and what they find might or might not be good for them even if from God.

I have experienced the truly miraculous a handful of times, and at least one of the times I was exposed to the miraculous was a horrible experience with someone whom I believe truly had connected into an evil that I simply can't describe adequately - nor do I want to do so. Even typing about it brings back memories I don't want in my mind. However, I also have known good people who have experienced the miraculous and then obsessed over it to the point that they became miracle junkies - desperate for the next fix and convinced that their experiences made them special in some way, causing all kinds of damage to themselves and their families and acquaintances.

Finally, I think we tend to interpret the statement about an evil and adulterous generation seeking after a sign too narrowly. "Adulterous" is most commonly aligned with sexual sin, but one of the definitions of "adulterous" is "illicit" - and that word means "not legally permitted or authorized; unlicensed; unlawful; disapproved of or not permitted for moral or ethical reasons". In this light, and the overall context of the original statement itself, it is clear to me that the description is one of someone who "cheats on" God - who is UNFAITHFUL to the covenant he made with God.

The core of that covenant is faith, which, at its center, means an allowance that there are some things that are unknowable - that "signs" (proof) are not required for belief and discipleship. Demanding signs and miracles, therefore, is a direct repudiation of faith - since it takes the decision of when and how to present the miraculous to individuals out of God's hands and demands this be done according to the desires of the mortals who are unwilling to wait (to "be still, and know that I am God"). Again, I believe in the miraculous, and I have experienced undeniable miracles a few times in my life, but none of them have come through me seeking them. 

Sometimes, stillness is essential - and seeking for signs makes stillness and patient, humble reliance and faith impossible.

Children Bearing Testimonies of the Atonement of Jesus Christ

I love Fast and Testimony Meeting, even with the quirky aspects that drive some people nuts.  As I mention near the end of this post, I have reservations about one aspect of testimonies in some locations, but one of the things I love most about F&T Meeting is listening to "simple" testimonies - especially those of children. 

In our F&T meeting this month, an eight-year-old girl bore a simple, short, heart-felt testimony. It obviously wasn’t coached; it obviously was in her own words; it was sincere and focused on basic Gospel principles.

It was wonderful.

In that same meeting, a 33-year-old, mentally disabled woman “bore her testimony”. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the Gospel. She read from a piece of paper on which she had written some of the things she did that month, including her reaction to watching Whitney Houston’s funeral. It was simple and not at all “spiritual” in any traditional way. I looked around the congregation and saw all the loving, smiling, accepting faces (everyone paying rapt attention in dead silence) and realized that moment was a big part of the pure Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It was wonderful.

My nine-year-old daughter bolts out the chapel doors every week the instant the benediction ends. She has told us for the last few months that she wants to bear her testimony. We have told her that she can do so whenever she’s ready to do it on her own, knowing she gets quite severe stage fright at the microphone. She bore her testimony this month, with her older sister standing beside her but completely in her own words. I’ve never been prouder of her.

It was wonderful.

I dislike rehearsed, automatic, rote words, especially those of others whispered into children’s ears, but, when a testimony is sincere and pure, a child’s testimony (even a 33-year-old child’s words) reminds me of the beautiful admonition:

“Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.”

Dealing with Members Who Let Us Down

Perhaps the greatest irony or paradox within the LDS Church is that the foundational theology of Mormonism allows for exaltation of those outside the faith throughout time (and that's pretty easy for nearly all members to accept, since they don't see and live and are hurt by and deal with those people's weaknesses on a daily basis) - and that same theology also allows for the exaltation of those inside the faith (but it's harder for many members to accept that - since we tend to judge most and most harshly those whose weaknesses we see most clearly and are hurt by most directly, with ourselves often at the top of that list).

Perhaps the greatest test of real charity inside the Church is how we deal with members who have let us down from inside the Church - who can't live up to our expectations of them. Think about that in relation to how someone sees you who does not approve of your beliefs or actions - perhaps a less active or inactive friend, or perhaps a family member, or perhaps an evangelical co-worker - someone who can't seem to understand and accept and value you fully for who you are - someone who seems to judge you as being "less than" she is.

Are you doing the same thing to her?  


In a very real way, each and every one of us has let God down.  He could judge all of us as being "less than" He is - and He would be justified in doing so.  He knows our faults and weaknesses even better than we do - and, yet, He loves us regardless and is patient with us.  If we are striving to be more godly - more Christ-like, this is one thing we should strive to emulate above almost all else. 

Public Teaching vs. Personal Opinion - and the Need for Teachers to Be Prepared

On Teaching, Speculation, Debate, Heterodoxy, Ignorance - Ardis Parshall (Keepapitchinin)

"Zion" Is Unity Forged Despite Differences

I walk a road much less traveled... a road I've never traveled, and it feels a little scary.

A friend of mine said that last year, and the following is my response to him:

"I hope you understand that many, many members understand that feeling. I've been walking my own road for a LONG time, especially since my individual road is neither that of the standard conservative or liberal groups in the Church. It's my own road, and it just happens to be one without walls or guardrails and one that straddles many intersecting roads - which means it's easier for me to fall, but it's also easier for me to communicate with those on other roads. That's a choice I made long ago, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I am gloriously happy and at peace in the LDS Church, but I am uniquely me, as well. 

My only caution in my response to you is to try to avoid thinking "the Church" is unique in its faults - and that you are alone in your views. I wish with all my heart it was the Zion of which we dream, but it's not - and it simply can't be unless all the membership intermingles with those who are different and learns to accept all. It simply can't be when those who see things differently than the majority leave. Zion isn't where all agree with each other on everything naturally. That, essentially, is Lucifer's plan - and it absolutely isn't what "the Church" teaches. Zion is unity forged despite differences.

There are FAR more members who don't walk in lock step with some perceived norm than most people realize - and the best wards, in my opinion, are those where differences are obvious and accepted. All of us like to think we are unique, but few of us really are. I believe a big part of "pure Mormonism" is to try to help those who might feel isolated and alone realize that there are plenty of others who feel that way - and I'm willing to bet my life's savings (granted, almost nothing) that most people who leave because "nobody agrees with or understands me" would be shocked to their core if they knew how many people in their own wards actually do agree with and understand them. Of course, that's not true of all congregations, but it's true of EVERY ward in which I've lived in my entire life - including more than one in Utah Valley.

I'm not saying everyone must stay actively involved in the LDS Church. That's up to each person - plain and simple. All I'm saying is that I believe strongly that there is a place in the Church for people like you - IF you want to engage on your own terms that are respectful and loving. (Elder Wirthlin is a wonderful example of that, if you need a role model.  His talk, "Concern for the One", is a masterpiece and should be internalized by every member of the Church.)"

An Excellent Explanation of the Genesis of the "Curse of Cain" Nonsense

BYU Professor Margaret Blair Young is one of the LDS Church's foremost scholars of the former Priesthood ban, and she wrote a post on By Common Consent last weekend that is a short, powerful, insightful explanation of the genesis of the idea that black people are descendants of Cain and, therefore, "cursed" with black skin.  There are lots of other writings that go into much more detail about why our former reading of scriptures has been incorrect, but Margaret's post is an excellent starting point for anyone who doesn't understand how horribly flawed the curse of Cain nonsense really is. 

As is generally the case when I write specifically about the ban, this post is in response to recent statements by members who can't let go of the former justifications.  I am linking Margaret's post in the hope that someone will read it who has assumed there actually was such a curse - that someone who has believed it will be able to see how misguided and non-historic that justification was. 

With that introduction, here is the link:

"An Exception Having Been Made...OR You May Be a Racist If... - Margaret Blair Young (By Common Consent)