Fathers Are to Preside

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." ("The Family: A Proclamation to the World")

We tend to apply these statements to our narrow view of our own world - or at least our Mormon world. Remember, this is a proclamation “to the world” - not narrowly to the Church.

Why would the FP & Q12 phrase it in this way in a message “to the world”? Frankly, I see why all around me - both in our relatively stable town and in my work over the last 10 years focused on the "economically underprivileged" and "educationally at-risk". My children have friends who spend hours (sometimes literally days and months) at our house specifically because their fathers (both biological and non-biological) don’t provide and protect. The inner-cities are imploding and exploding across America, and one foundation reason is that fathers have abdicated their responsibility to provide and protect.

Given the state of the family all around me, I don’t read this as anything other than a reprimand and challenge to the men of the world to take responsibility for their actions and serve their families in righteousness (preside). The world needs it so badly, and the young men of the world need it even more.

God Will Deliver Us, As Well

I always stress parsing what actually is said in written text or by someone we hear to understand what we can assert as definitive - and then considering the entire context to see if there are possible implications from whatever simply is a given (what is indisputable). For example, in Alma 56:47-48, all we are told is that the mothers “taught” their sons that “if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.” From what, we are not told. We only assume it was from physical death in war because of the situation (war and their preservation in it) that caused them to relate it to Helaman. However, the first two-thirds of verse 47 make it clear that they were willing to die. Given that, it is legitimate to look at the rest of the context and realize that there might be other legitimate meanings for “God would deliver them.”

First, "they had been taught” - which might have been a one time occurrence as they were leaving home. However, it seems like these young men "had been taught” dedication and obedience and exactness all their lives. Individuals can change in an instant, but it is unlikely that 2,000 young men suddenly would become super-righteous overnight. It is much more likely that they "had been taught” that God would deliver them from anything that might threaten their spiritual, eternal well-being than that their mothers simply pulled them aside on the way out the door and promised them they wouldn’t be killed in the war.

Remember, those mothers had seen many of their friends (and perhaps some fathers and sons and husbands) slaughtered by other Lamanites - killed in the act of calling upon God even though they did not “doubt God”. They knew full well that God didn’t always deliver His faithful people from physical death, but they were convinced that He could deliver them from their natural, fallen, sinful and lost state - from spiritual death. (Alma 24:27 - “thus we see that the Lord worketh in many ways to the salvation of his people.”)

Alma 53: 20-21 makes it obvious that these young men had been taught all their lives the reward for perfect faithfulness, obedience and dedication - the same reward their own “pioneers” had received, even those who had been killed for their faith, valor and lack of doubt. I think it’s fairly safe to guess, as a parent myself, that their mothers reiterated what they had been taught all their lives as they were heading off to war (that, if they did not doubt and obeyed every command with exactness, God would deliver them - no matter the physical outcome.)

Remember, this was Helaman who was reporting about these young men. He was as close to them as any Nephite - ever. Yet, apparently, he did not know the specifics about what their mothers had taught them until they told him about it. He had been there when the parents had decided to fight; he was the one who had talked them out of it by invoking their sacred promise; he had been chosen as their sons’ military leader, because they trusted him as a religious leader. He was intimately involved in the decision of their sons to fight in place of their parents.

Perhaps “taught” simply can mean “told” - but I tend to believe that Helaman would have been there for the great send off when all the mothers collectively told all the sons that they would not die in battle - that he would have known about it and not have to be told after the fact.

Having said all that, I do not discount the idea that the Lord promised the parents that He would preserve their sons in battle like He had promised Mosiah and Alma to preserve their sons on their missions to convert these very parents (a promise of which Helaman would have heard from his own father and understood intimately) - that is was couched in terms of “You’ve sacrificed enough lives to follow me. I won’t require that you sacrifice your children.” Even if that really is all it was, that’s enough for me, since it makes it an incredibly powerful story of the rewards of deep and difficult sacrifice and dedication.

I am not saying that this is the correct view of the statement, "God would deliver them." It simply might have been, “Stay valiant and none of you will be killed.” All I’m saying is that when you parse the text, there is more than one possible meaning for that phrase (”God would deliver them.”) - and, to me, the more comprehensive one I describe here is much more powerful and moving and inspiring in its applicability to me and my own battles.

May We All Die the Dignified Death of Jerold Schmidt

Death in the Family - Brad (By Common Consent)

A Tribute to a Great Man

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you!

Sitting in the Temple with Dad - Margaret Young (Times & Seasons)

Fellowship vs. Membership

I think we place too much emphasis on membership to the unfortunate exclusion of simple fellowship. Too many of us seem to think that only those who are members or "progressing investigators" should be with us as we worship. In my view, although we could create dozens of more narrow categories, we have four general options for attendance in our meetings:

1) "Fully committed members" - holding temple recommends and striving to live every aspect of the Gospel to the best of their ability.

2) "Partially committed members" - sporadic or regular attendees (often not holding temple recommends) struggling or unable to live some basic standards expected of fully committed members

3) "Progressing investigators" - people who are serious about their efforts to decide on future membership and exhibit that commitment by attending church regularly and meeting basic expectations of membership

4) "Committed non-members" - those who want to worship with us but have no intention of becoming "members in good standing and future temple recommend holders".

I see this final category as the ultimate test of our acceptance of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish we were willing to love and worship with anyone who is willing to be with us and let them work out their own issues as we strive to work out ours. In a nutshell, I wish we could separate fellowship from membership - and fellowship everyone.

How willing are we to accept a habitual drunk as our pew mate? How willing are we to embrace a homosexual couple in our meetings - understanding that they will hear the Law of Chastity preached in our meetings and might never be baptized and join our membership ranks? How willing are we to tolerate the smell of tobacco from the pew in front of us? How willing are we to have a Baptist or a Methodist or a Catholic or a Jew or a Muslim worship at our side if they are open about their unwillingness to be baptized? How willing are we, sinners in our own way, to worship alongside sinners in a different way - understanding that they might never enter category #1, but willing to love and serve them even as they remain in category #4?

Of Rape Trials and Regional Conferences

Astonishing and Humbling Contrasts - Neal Kramer (By Common Consent)

Exercising Faith and Seeing the Hand of God

Due to my mother's health (My Niece Died This Morning) and their relative poverty, my parents assumed they would never be able to serve a "regular" mission as a couple. However, after talking with their bishop extensively they decided that they would be able to serve at Cove Fort (an historical site not far from their home), since it would not be stressful on my mother and would cost very little. They planned everything accordingly, submitted their papers with that specified by themselves and their bishop (with an explanation about why a regular mission would be impossible) and waited for confirmation of those plans.

They were called on an active proselyting mission to South Carolina - at the full cost for such a mission.

They had no idea how they would be able to do it - both in light of my mother's condition and their finances (they literally didn't have enough money to do it), but they accepted the call, attended the required training and left Utah to drive to South Carolina - not knowing beforehand what they would do.

It was a five-day drive for them. Three days into their journey, an elderly sister called their new Mission President and told him that she had received a strong impression that she was to offer the use of her small house to the mission - to be used for any couple who needed to serve in that area, totally free of charge. She would live with her son and daughter-in-law for as long as the mission needed her home.

The Mission President was unaware of my parents' dilemma, but he immediately felt impressed to have my parents live in that house and serve in that area. They did so for 10 of the 18 months they served - building lasting friendships and having a wonderful experience, and seeing their meager savings extend almost to the penny for what they needed for that mission.

God's hand operates all around us - not always in such visible and undeniable ways as my parents' mission, but powerfully nonetheless. The thing that strikes me most deeply about my parents' experience is that they had no idea how they would be able to do what they had been called to do. It literally was impossible without the direct and active participation of the Lord, but it took them stepping out into the darkness and committing to do something they knew they couldn't do for it to happen.

There is a valuable lesson in there, I believe.

Cast Thy Burden Upon the Lord

I had an interesting insight during a prayer a few months ago. In all my years as a member of the Church - in all the countless meetings I have attended and all the countless times I have read the scriptures - in all my pondering over the years, I have not had the same thought in quite the same way. I'm sure it's not earth shatteringly profound, but it was powerful and thought-provoking for me. I also am sure it is a direct result of the contemplation I have been doing concerning the Lord's yoke, His grace and our gratitude for His matchless mercy.

What struck me is that all of us, when we become members of the Church, covenant to take certain responsibilities. We promise to comfort those who stand in need of comfort and mourn with those that mourn. We agree to the sacramental covenants, then Priesthood or YW's covenants, then temple covenants - as well as various callings within the Church's organizational structure. Although these things are meant to bring us growth and understanding and joy, in a very real sense they are "burdens" we agree to carry.

Psalms 55:22 says, in part: "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee."

Ether 12:27 says: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

Matthew 11:28-30 says, in part: "Take my yoke upon you."

Here is what I learned: The concepts in these three verses constitute a complete solution; without the first and second, the third is impossible.

In simple terms, the Lord wants us to cast our own burdens at His feet and pick up those that He knows will give us strength and bring eternal life. Please take a moment to create that mental picture. Envision yourself removing a pack from your back or shoulders, setting it aside, then picking up a new pack to carry instead. If we fail to leave our own natural burdens with Him, then all we do when we assume the responsibilities of membership in His kingdom is to pick up a second pack and increase a load we already are unable to bear alone.

Each of us needs to figure out what this means in our own lives, with our own personalities and struggles, but, at a minimum, we need to accept His atoning grace and quit beating ourselves up over our natural weaknesses and tendencies - those things for which He has paid the price already. We need to recognize and accept the forgiveness He has offered already. We need to believe Him and what He has promised us.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by guilt or inadequacy or the burdens of your life, may I suggest a simple solution - not an easy one and not one that always will happen completely and all at once, but the only one of which I know that truly will work. Find a quiet place, where you can kneel totally alone and unable to hear anything else, and pour out your soul to your Heavenly Father - able to approach Him directly because of the grace of His Son. Tell Him of your anxieties, your fears, your weakness, your pain - then ask Him to take the burden from you and help you walk away from it. Repeat that request (something like, "I gave it to you; please help me leave it at your feet.") whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed - even if it means you have to do so sometimes in the middle of the confusion and chaos of your daily life. Take a deep breath, close your eyes if you can, and ask Him to intercede once more and keep you from picking up your natural load.

I have a deep and abiding testimony that if you cast your burdens upon the Lord, He truly will sustain you as you shoulder His yoke and begin to carry the burden He has chosen to make your weakness become strength.

Making It to the Temple

Newbie Joins the In-Crowd - Tracy M (Mormon Mommy Wars)

Suffer the Children Who Come Unto Us

God Bless the Iza's of This World - Wlifried Decoo (Times & Seasons)