tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post6003969908894838780..comments2023-12-26T10:22:04.630-05:00Comments on Things of My Soul: Unrealistic Expectations in MarriagePapa Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06704974609266088416noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-74678137200181929802011-04-22T12:22:13.511-04:002011-04-22T12:22:13.511-04:00Jen, thanks for the clarification. You might have...Jen, thanks for the clarification. You might have said something similar (or, at least, hinted at it) previously, because I read that sort of meaning in your comment. <br /><br />I don't know if this applies directly or not, but I thought of a post I wrote two months ago when I read your comment: <br /><br />http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2011/02/Papa Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06704974609266088416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-73001434757727088482011-04-22T09:11:34.826-04:002011-04-22T09:11:34.826-04:00That does make your previous comment much more cle...That does make your previous comment much more clear. I am so sorry that you have had to suffer through abusive relationships. I have never had to do so.<br /><br />"Seeing the beauty" turns my mind to a phrase from Cherie Call's song <a href="http://www.cheriecall.com/albums/songs/flowers/believe.html" rel="nofollow">Believe</a>, "Sometimes you see what Jesus sees when you Richard Algerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08921970283086332560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-68795696009558567362011-04-22T07:27:19.533-04:002011-04-22T07:27:19.533-04:00Rich-
You're right. "Mutually beneficial&...Rich-<br />You're right. "Mutually beneficial" sounds like a very low threshold... The phrase doesn't effectively explain what I want to say. <br /><br />The place I come from is one where I have been in relationships that are very harmful to me. (Physically and/or emotionally). I always used the excuse that all relationships have their ups and downs.<br /><br />The downs I jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07609613967033394629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-78434706150665633072011-04-21T19:40:32.049-04:002011-04-21T19:40:32.049-04:00"But also knowing that if the relationship is..."But also knowing that if the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial, we can end it" -Jen<br /><br />"No Longer mutually beneficial" is a low threshold to pass to end a marriage. I am glad that my wife holds me to high standards in our marriage. It really isn't her. It is part of the temple marriage covenant coupled with the endowment. <br /><br />If my marriage Richard Algerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08921970283086332560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-25462715872090054242011-04-21T18:54:29.310-04:002011-04-21T18:54:29.310-04:00Jen, you made perfect sense. Very well said.
T...Jen, you made perfect sense. Very well said. <br /><br />That's the main reason I valued the thread over the post. It was fascinating for me to read everyone's comments - even though I disagreed with some of them. <br /><br />Anonymous, that is a WONDERFUL example. Thank you!Papa Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06704974609266088416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-7737436262994579122011-04-21T18:23:10.354-04:002011-04-21T18:23:10.354-04:00If my darling husband were to have to spend ten ye...If my darling husband were to have to spend ten years down the mines in an effort to provide for us,and emerge an different shape than when he went down,I don't imagine that anyone would have much time for me were i to leave him because he was no longer the man I married.It's a pity that when a woman spends ten years and more bearing their children and being marked by the process,that Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-41326209896082802782011-04-21T17:43:19.285-04:002011-04-21T17:43:19.285-04:00The whole article seemed to miss the point.
The ...The whole article seemed to miss the point. <br /><br />The love I believe in accepts ME for ME. I have some amazing friends who don't expect me to change my hair, my weight, my appearance, my emotions, or any part of me... They love me THIS way. And I feel the same for them. <br /><br />Even with all my "baggage" I am a perfect me. I love me, and I expect others to love me like jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07609613967033394629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-68503418859238335152011-04-19T21:30:51.368-04:002011-04-19T21:30:51.368-04:00Thanks, Ray. I'm much more worried right now a...Thanks, Ray. I'm much more worried right now about MY capacity to do that!SilverRainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-54555857653407333002011-04-19T15:35:15.059-04:002011-04-19T15:35:15.059-04:00That's one of the reasons the thread itself (n...That's one of the reasons the thread itself (not just the post) made an impression on me, Rich. I like uplifting discussions, but I also like multi-faceted, "real" discussions in which differing perspectives (even painful ones) are expressed. I don't think our understanding can be "made perfect" without exposure to experiences and ideas and viewpoints that differ from Papa Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06704974609266088416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-15393184678013719942011-04-19T15:31:04.432-04:002011-04-19T15:31:04.432-04:00To be honest, I pity the theoretical male who woul...To be honest, I pity the theoretical male who would try to fall in love with me at this point. I have WAY too much baggage now on any scale. ;) This I know.<br /><br />But I know a few people . . . like you and your wife, Ray . . . who give me hope in something better.SilverRainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-57901573578784753812011-04-19T12:28:12.022-04:002011-04-19T12:28:12.022-04:00There is so much of pain, personal and raw in thos...There is so much of pain, personal and raw in those comments. And of quarreling and fighting and nastiness in the comments of that post. <br /><br />My heart aches for the time when we can have no disputations among us as Jesus pleaded with the Nephites on his first appearance.<br /><br />That said, I am sorry SilverRain for the discouragement and futility the post brought you. There is a Richard Algerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08921970283086332560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-36217126936382551852011-04-19T11:55:18.808-04:002011-04-19T11:55:18.808-04:00I agree, SR - and I thought it was a . . . stupid ...I agree, SR - and I thought it was a . . . stupid . . . comment when I first read it. (Tried to find a softer word, but it really is a stupid comment.) It iss generalized and stereotypical - and, even to the degree that it accruately describes many men, it also accurately describes many women.Papa Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06704974609266088416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199387660357003170.post-34443890754291153672011-04-19T09:36:05.889-04:002011-04-19T09:36:05.889-04:00One of the first few comments: "I think a lot...One of the first few comments: "I think a lot of women underestimate how HUGE of deal it is to most men for their significant others to not be overweight. Sounds harsh and shallow, but that’s how we men are wired."<br /><br />And I ask again: then who needs men?<br /><br />I'm not asking this question to be rude, I really want to know. If men put their value in women on something SilverRainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.com